Graduation, Friendships & Moving Forward

Surprise! Some old classmates came to visit. I was really, really happy.

High school graduation — it’s a milestone in life that few can’t remember. Full of caps and tassels, lovely flowers, and runaway balloons, graduation is a celebration that is near and dear to everyone’s hearts, including mine. To me and many others, graduation is but preparation for the next step: moving on to college.

That was all a month ago. Now it’s the first days of summer. The raw sunlit days serve as a buffer between schools, a periodic moment in time where teenagers can enjoy themselves freely, with responsibilities few and far between.

Eat, go outside, read a book, write a blog, learn to code, make a film — take charge to make this time worthwhile. And to all, truly cherish the high school relationships you have by spending time with them.

I might’ve lost a friend recently. Or two. Truth be told, it wasn’t pretty. There was lots of anger, frustration, and needless shouting. At that moment, it shown that it would’ve been better if we weren’t friends. So we stopped contacting each other. And that was that.

Well, … shit.

They were my closest friends. I doubted myself as if I was even good at keeping friends. And I hated myself for it. I’m selfish, egotistical, entitled. I didn’t deserve them. To be friends for so long, and to grow apart so soon was devastating. And when I think of the ideal summer vacation, I think of the associations of happiness, friendships, and unadulterated fun. I then feel lacking, as if I’m missing something important. Maybe this summer for me is a waste of time.

But I digress. “Love yourself and “enjoy your own company” are the phrases of the day that constantly encircle my mind. So as I spend these first few days of summer in relative isolation, I’m learning new things, keeping myself busy. Planning classes for the upcoming semester at Berkeley. Attempting to learn Python. Buying new tripods to create film.

And so far it’s been great. I’ve never felt so productive in a while. Soon, however, I’ll have to get back out there. As the summer season ends, I’ll have to restart in college through meeting numerous people, making new friends, and reforming those deep connections with key individuals.

What type of person do I show myself to be by then? What kind of stories do I tell? Such is the common anxiety all people face when encountering an unfamiliar setting. The reaction to that anxiety, perhaps, is what makes life all the more interesting.