The Wait

Somewhere in Abuja, Nigeria . . .

BBM chat
Boy: “So when are we seeing?”
Girl: “tomorrow, my day is cramped up already dear”
Boy: “na you busy pass oh. No problem though.”

*8 pm the next day*
“PING”
“PING”
Girl: “hey you.”
Boy: “job-girl how far?”
Girl: “my dear its not so, so sorry, today was a mess. Abeg I’ll make it up. Please tomorrow. I have cleared my schedule”
Boy: “Are you sure? Your schedule is as busy as Nyanya traffic. Anyway no biggy. But to be sure I’ll ping you tomorrow”
Girl: ” :) No problem.”

*10 am the next day*
Boy: “hey dear, just checking with you about us hanging out.”
Girl: “lol so you were serious about re-confirming? Eh don’t worry we’re still on. So where & when do we meet?”
Boy: “12ish at SFC, I love their chips.”
“Once you are near let me know. Since it is near my house I’ll easily reach there. I don’t want to be waiting & you will pull that ‘a guy is to wait for a lady’ front”.
Girl: “hahaha I hear you. But you know it is true:)”

30 minutes away from SFC
*Phone rings*
Boy: “hello dear”
Girl: “hey, you there yet?”
Boy: “Not yet. Should I leave now?”
Girl: “see this guy oh. Before? Am almost there now.”
Boy: (now feeling bad) “sorry. I won’t take 3 minutes.”

. . . and then we know what happens. The dude goes and sits down in the eatery like he is lost. The girl comes 15 minutes — 1 hour later; depending on how long it takes to fix her make up & get herself to eatery. Then she will come in smiling and be like “awww so you came before me?” and every time this has happened to me, I am like “BEFORE” (in my mind of course).

Now my question is (and yes its a question lots of guys wonder about because I asked round) why do girls feel it is necessary to waste time? Some say it is fashionable, others say it is good to keep a guy waiting; see if he respects you enough to wait, some say gentlemen always wait on ladies and some actually defend themselves saying they were making up or something similar. I then sit and think, if a guy dares to keep a girl waiting, all hell will break loose. Imagine a guy comes late and the girl asks him and he says “oh I had to finish a football match I was watching” or “the boys & I were trying out FIFA16 no vex” (do I hear someone saying it is not the same thing???). We will now hear “is that how you treat a girl?” Or “so game is more important to you than me abi?” And girls have been or are so crafty they make their own reasons/excuses difficult to complain about especially as we are guys and don’t want to sound like we are nagging.

I think people that do this, ladies and guys respectively (yes there are guys that do this too); need to understand that it is unfair to keep someone waiting. I asked some friends about how they felt concerning this particular issue, i.e how they feel when they are made to wait and I got a lot of response. A male friend said “it spoils my mood during the whole outing”, another said “I make them wait, give them their medicine back”. The girls had a lot to say. One girl said “trying his patience. Who wants to live with an impatient person”. Another said “its just to see if he is serious”and a girl actually said “if he can’t wait he can always come and pick me”. That last comment was typically Nigerian, made me laugh hard. The thing is that there are people, girls; that actually hate the idea of wasting a guys time, someone actually called it “Vain”, a close friend said “I make sure I am punctual at all times, be it a date or official. It is just my way”.
Anyway I feel (and please you have every right to disagree) that nobody should be kept waiting be it guy or girl. Keeping to the agreed time is showing respect for time as a resource and for the person you are meeting. It makes sense and is understandable if circumstances beyond your control prevents you from meeting up as planned but doing it intentionally to me isn’t cool. If a guy is going to respect you, he will respect you regardless and you don’t need to ‘test’ him to find out. Now let’s use the principle about gentleman to wait, if we say a guy respects a girl when he waits for her, that means by default, the girl dis-respects the guy by keeping him waiting.

Or what do you think???

Like what you read? Give Muyiwa Fadare a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.