Friends and Apologies

“Its is one of those Blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them” — Ralph Waldow Emerson.

I have slightly evaded this episode for a while now. Or more, i have avoided my thoughts around the subject of Friends.

I say this, because in the process of moving on, some were left behind. And, not entirely by my doing i might add. But there seemed to be little benefit to my presence, now i was no longer a “wild thing”.

I had somehow magically assumed the skills of a chameleon and hey presto, was rendered invisible to those who i had for so long been “friends” with. I use that term friend, very loosely in the above context…….

Retrospect is a fine realist

Although, it must be said. Friends are made and bound in many ways. And some of these circumstances are, or were never really “real”. More a meeting of shared madness that had a prolonged life. Beyond that facade ?? Nothing!!

If however you had the strength to remove yourself from the ‘madness.’ The penalties were tough. You were shunned medieval style and banished to the ‘Desert of Sobriety’ ( I like that one, Desert of Sobriety. Thirsty for Friends and Drink and yet none to be had)

I had been excommunicated from the Order and this was my sentence. It didn't faze me …. Zerofucks given, to be honest.

Then there’s the idea, that friends are not always friends. A strange statement perhaps. It can pass the bullshit test once i clarify it with my mesmerising amateur writting skills. See, some are mere acquaintances with whom we share a common friend, or relation.

Other’s as in my case. Were individuals that i happened to party with. living our illusory lives, trying to escape something or escape ourselves. Yet both sharing in each others attempts to be free of our own self made fuckery.

Fuckery is my new favourite word. I like it a lot. :)

Then there is “FRIENDS”…. Actual, Genuine, True, No Bs, Friends. Those who through our worst and best still remain. I have been very fortunate to have many of these in my life. Each in their won way allows me to be and display different facets of my personality and much more.

There is great freedom to be felt when we can truly act out all quirks without having to censor ourselves.

This to me is the greatest part of Friendship ‘that our many shadows are given ground to dance among the shadows of those we befriend and not an eye will be raised’

To those that have been left by the way over the years. I apologise for not giving our friendship the respect it deserved. We are still alive, so there is always tomorrow.

To those who no longer wished to have our shadows dance together. I wish you well

To the friends who still frequent my life. You have given me much over the years and continue to do so. For that you have my Eternal Respect and Love.

Before i finish. I would like to point out one more thing. There are people, who for many years have been awesome to be around. Yet we are not friends.

We move in different circles only to meet on that rare occasion and always have a blast. Thank you also for making my life that more rich.

Thanks for Reading and i appreciate the time you spent here.

Mark XXX

Episode 12 will be posted tomorrow around the same time, for those who wish to read more.

Ps. I think there might be a part 2 in there somewhere.