Episode 12:
The Keep Going.

This week was a strange one for me. Even as fit and healthy as i feel right now, there was continuous moments, where waves of tiredness would wash over me time and again. Even today as i went about various tasks, it was at certain stages a struggle. For the life of me i couldn't reason why this was happening and wasn't for the most part, able to navigate around it.
But it has passed now and just as well. Looking back over the last few months i now see the reason for energy slump. I was in constant “go” mode. Mentally and physically. This of course had to at some stage, meet a dip or drop. And, now here i am writing about it.
We have to be pragmatic about what we put our energy into. Especially things who’s life span is so short lived. Or beyond our reach or no longer exist for that matter. Because if we give too much, its always going catch up and burn us out. That doesn’t mean we cant be enthusiastic or eager.
Just pace ourselves. Steady as she goes and use the reserve tank for when we really need it.
Such is life i think. Through out the journey we have the highs, the lows. The ecstasy the agony, the love and the heartbreak. As humans we tend to spend much time in the highs and lows(emotionally at least). Sometimes trying to force a thing into existence. Sometimes for far too long and beyond what is healthy for us. Yet, i understand why.
These high and lows are makers along the way, that afford us memories we can revisit long after the event has passed. Some markers good or bad come to define us. They are turning points either positive or negative that determine our life direction.
But !! Nobody seems to place much emphasis on the part or parts in between our life markers. Or is that just my blinkered view on things. It forms the largest part of our stay here. Yet in contrast, receives the least notice and is rarely remembered.
For the purpose of this episode i will name this in between place ‘the keep going’. A term i am sure you are all familiar with.
The ‘keep going’, the place where everything gets done. That middle of nowhere setting, that births everything of any significance.
When the happiness and celebration is over, when we can no longer hold onto the hurt and pain, when the story has ended. There is nothing left…………. Just, ourselves, our thoughts, the memories. Markers that will be revisited later, in the hope of reliving the event again. Even if only for a brief moment and in our daydreams.
What happens then ? We get up, have a look around and ‘keep going’. Essentially it is all we have. Sometimes it feels magical almost. We get up everyday and have another run at it. Another chance to make good some wrongs, another try to either excel or completely fuck it up.
A choice i might add, that has been denied to many unfortunately.
People watching is one of my favourite things to do. Constantly on the look for the little things that materialise in the ‘keep going’.
The things that go unnoticed. A child just learning that it works this way and not that way.. his parents didn't catch the look on his face, but i seen it. That faint smell of evaporating dew on an early summers morning. These are the things i speak of. For me they have an energy all of their own, an energy that could not exist anywhere but in the ‘keep going’…
There is contentment in this place. The pace is steady and not frantic ? Maybe because we are in auto-pilot mode. Who knows.
It is a safe quarter and shelter where we gather the tools and reserves needed to get us to the next outpost or marker. Some never reach this way point ( one specifically comes to mind, a dear friend i lost some years back). We talked often about the ‘keep going’.
I still look back to the outpost in the hopes i will catch a glimpse of him arriving at his rest point. Unfortunately it never happens, he never makes it.
And, I for my part, just ‘Keep Going’….
Thank you for reading and i appreciate the time you have spent here.
Mark xxx
Next Episode will be posted approximately the same time tomorrow.