A young man sent me a question seeking advice on how to be the sucess he envisioned. His friends and co-workers seemed to enjoy their work and their lives more than he did.
Confusing place — youth.
If anyone has additional suggestions I might pass on to this young man, please provide.
Be You — Don’t try to Be Them. What you dream to be brings best results when You decide to “Be the Best YOU That You Can Be”. Often people handicap themselves by trying to be like so many others. They become not Them but a mess of Confusing Other Personalities, with no real identity.
While it’s wise to adopt principles that develop positive patterns of behavior, that is not being like others, it’s bringing out the best that is you. Now that is being someone who can hold their head high. Someone you can really like. Better to not distract yourself looking at your colleagues and people you know enjoying their lives and job. But finding those things that you love and enjoy.
No matter how advantaged someones talents or appearance we tend to look at others wishing we had that person’s hair, eyes, nose, sense of humor, friends, money, et cetera rather than looking to see how advantaged our talents and appearance are.
The subject came up while I was in an airport waiting for a plane with a friend who lamented “I wish I was more …”. I asked them to take a second and look at the other people in the airport. Take the next 10 people that walk by and tell me how many of them you believe are more attractive than you?, how many do you see that appear to have more wealth than you?, how many would you agree to trade places with — right now?
In fact my friend was in the top 10 % income in the US and top .05% income in the world. My friend was in fact more attractive than 90% of the other people who walked by. My friend saw no one in our immediate vicinity they wanted to trade places with — right now.
It seems we all want to think about what we wish we had and not think about how fortunate we are. We’re kick’en butt. I imagine you are in fact kick’en butt. Love what you have and kick the “wish I was more …” in the butt.
The wonderful Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People once said, thought begets action, but the reverse is also true, action begets thought. So if you don’t feel happy, act very happy. Walk with a spring or skip in your step. Smile at everyone like they all love you. Dance to ahappy song in your head.
For years I got our of bed every morning to the sound of an alarm clock. I don’t care if it goes chirp, chirp, chirp or ding, ding, ding; waking up to the sound of an alarm clock is not the best way to begin the day. It typically provokes “Oh No, I wish I had another hour to sleep in” and begrudgingly pull your self to a sitting position. Next to slowly walk to the coffee maker. Then to the bathroom, et cetera.
20 years ago I purchased an alarm clock that connected with a tape deck and the alarm clock would turn on the tape deck at the appointed “wake my butt up time”. I created a tape that initially only had 2 songs on it: 1 Zippity Do Da, Zippity Ae, My Oh My What a Wonderful Day with Louis Armstrong and 2. The Impossible Dream, theme song from the play Don Quixote — Man from La Mancha.
Both are very uplifting songs. I would rise quickly and taught myself to sing them loudly, as if nobody was listening and dance in a very animated manner as if I was performing them on stage, as I headed to the coffee maker.
Now that is a way to begin each day. A way to go through life. A way to enjoy everything that is my life. Google the lyrics to Don Quixote and lGoogel Man from La Mancha listen to the song while reading the lyrics. Make an informed decision — try it several times, dance while your doing it, play the air guitar. Kick some butt, Dude — and have fun doing it.
We all have the same challenges as you — everyone does. We all catch ourselves wishing we had …. But the smart among us learn to develop positive patterns of behavior — and we succeed.
Nobody can make you feel poorly with your life without your permission