The Elf, The Dwarf, and The Minotaur, Part Three

Max Egorov
Sep 1, 2018 · 11 min read

Natia had her head buried in 'Barbaros' Beastiary', a giant volume detailing the habitats and characteristics of all the known monsters of the world, when the Wayward Breeze finally docked at Solkind. She'd just managed to finish the section on Krakens, the legendary predators of the sea, when she heard the call to disembark. Since she did not need time to pack she had spent the last hour reading. Her bag held everything that she would require on her journey, the special enchantment on it made it both larger on the inside and reduced the weight of everything contained within to that of a feather.
Natia placed the beastiary back in her bag and made her way to the gangplank. On the way she passed by Galius who was busy admonising a deck hand in a language Natia was not familiar with. She waved at the captain though she was certain he had not spotted her. Natia hoped she would see him again someday. After one last look at the Breeze she strolled down the gangplank.
The docks of Solkind were as busy as Natia remembered them. Fishermen who had been delayed by the storm were readying their boats for the days work, and sailors waking up from drunken stupors stumbled about trying to find their vessels. There were more ships docked here than when Natia had last visited. Solkind had always been a pleasant port so she wasn't too surprised that it had grown more popular.
In the distance Natia spotted smokestacks belching black smoke into the skies. Those were definitely new. It seemed that the industrial revolution that she had heard so much about and that her native islands fought so hard to resist had reached Solkind.
While walking from the docks to the city proper Natia noticed that she was getting occasional curious glances from passerbys. She had gotten used to island life so much that she had forgotten that Aquarian elves were a rare sight on the mainland. Her dark complexion, midnight black eyes, and horns made her stand out from the other elves that walked the streets of Solkind. Natia decided that if she planned on being a famous mage she might as well get used to the attention.
At the foot of the stairway leading into the town proper Natia spotted a notice board. Posted on the board was a train schedule according to which the Ryleh Express would be departing at noon. Natia was elated. In just over four hours she would be well on her way.
As she ascended the steps Natia felt her stomach rumble. She had better find something to eat soon, a hangry mage was a dangerous mage. She remembered that Galius had mentioned something to her, The Gorgons Head she believed had been the name of the place. Hopefully the food would be more appetising than the name.

It did not take long for Natia to find The Gorgons Head. Placed on the west side of the town square it was hard to miss. A large building with gorgeous stained glass windows depicting scenes from heroic tales, most of which she was familiar with, and the likenesses of monsters carved into its wooden pillars and door frame it was far from the run down hovel Natia feared it would be. The smell wafting from inside made Natias mouth water. She found herself being pulled toward the ornate double doors.
Inside the tavern was no less beautiful. Whoever had built it certainly had a taste for luxury and a flair for the heroic. The tables and chairs were beautifully carved from mahogany, their legs shaped like those of great beasts. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling illuminating the spacious interior. All through the dining area hung paintings of great battles, of generals, of heroes and of kings. But it was what hung above the well stocked bar that really caught Natias attention, the actual head of a gorgon.
So the name was not a lie Natia amusedly thought to herself. Gorgons were notoriously difficult to slay so whoever owned this place must have paid handsomely for the head, unless of course they had killed it themselves. Natia found herself fixating on the creatures eyes. Even dead the gorgons gaze was enthralling, so enthralling that Natia failed to notice the hostess approaching her.
"Good morning, welcome to The Gorgons Head."
Natia snapped out of her daze. "Sorry, I was...somewhere else." She noted that the hostess was a Shirkhun, a smaller bipedal subspecies of dragons, with bright aquamarine scales. She was well dressed but her clothing did not conceal the missing scales, scars, and toned muscles of her arms. Clearly being a hostess was not her only job.
"It is hypnotic isn't it. She wasn't an easy kill but a rewarding one." the hostess said.
Natia looked at the hostess in bewilderment. "You killed that?"
The hostess laughed. "I was involved but it's not my story to tell. My name is Sarheena. Thank you for joining us, we're just getting the ovens fired up but if you care to wait you can have a seat at the bar. You can ask Barthia about the gorgons head if you're really curious."
Natia followed Sarheena to the bar. She took a seat on one of the ornate barstools.
"Barthia, we have our first customer." Sarheena called out before turning back to Natia, "I hope you enjoy your visit." With that Sarheena strode away to attend to another pair of arrivals.
From the kitchen strode a burly dark skinned dwarf. She had a pugilists face with a wide flat nose and a heavy brow; she wore her salt and pepper hair in a neat bun. Her embroidered sleeveless vest exposed a pair of powerful arms criss crossed with scars of battles past. She resembled a photo Natia had seen somewhere, if only she could remember where.
Barthia hopped on to a footstool behind the bar bringing her to eye level with Natia. "Name's Barthia, nice to meet you!" she said extending her hand.
Natia shook the dwarfs hand. "I'm Natia. Nice place you have here."
"Thanks, opened up a year ago. Figured I'd bring some culture to this little boom town. New arrival?" Barthia said.
"Yeah, I'm not planning on staying long though." Natia said while looking at the decorations behind the bar. One particular item drew her gaze, an intimidating silver warhammer. The carvings on the hammer head were all too familiar. "Is that an Varengian stormhammer?"
"It certainly is." Barthia said, "In fact that's the very hammer that smashed in the head of Golgoth."
"The barbarian king? The one who led his enormous horde against Ryleh twenty eight years ago?" Natia asked, suddenly excited. She had always been something of a history buff.
"How many famous Golgoths do you know? Yes that Golgoth." Barthia replied, "Greatest victory of my career. The most costly too."
"Your career...?" Natia asked.
Natia was starting to remember her history lessons. The Battle of the Euphrean Plain was where Golgoths horde had been stopped by the legendary Silver Drakes regiment of Ryleh. The Silver Drakes had been outnumbered a thousand to one but had fought with unparalleled ferocity. As the history books had it the entire regiment fell one by one in a daring last ditch push to give their commander a shot at the barbarian king. Their commander...
"You're Barthia Belasarius, The Hammer of Ryleh!" Natia exclaimed.
Barthia let out a deep laugh, "Just Barthia the Hammer now, I retired from the army decades ago."
"I read that the Silver Drakes were destroyed, you vanished from Imperial records after that battle!" Natia continued, unable to contain her excitement, "I thought... many historians thought you died of the wounds you sustained in that battle."
"Barthia can't die, she's too damn stubborn." came a voice from the kitchen.
"Shut it Basil, we have people to feed!" Barthia called out. She turned back to Natia, "I lost most of my friends on the Euphrean Plain, I didn't want to fight anymore wars. The emperor owed me a favor so I asked to be released from service and for the Silver Drakes to be disbanded. Then I left Ryleh behind, and found a new life."
"Doing what?" Natia asked.
Barthia glanced at the head of the gorgon mounted above the bar, "Wandering the world, making money on the side as a freelance monster slayer. Finally did what I always wanted to do."
Natia was surprised, "That was less dangerous than being a professional soldier?"
Barthia shrugged, "No politicians to deal with and it paid better. After twenty five years it paid well enough to open this place."
Natia looked up the mounted gorgons head, "It's hard anyone would volunteer to fight something like that, no matter how much it pays. Can I ask about that head by the way?"
Barthia laughed, "That's why it's there. You want something to drink first? It's a long story."
"Just water please." Natia said.
"I'd suggest something stronger, it makes the story better." chuckled Barthia.
"I'm not partial to alcohol, and isn't it a little early?"
"Never too early around here." Barthia said sliding a glass of water to Natia, "Anyway, it was about six years after I retired when me and this little adventuring crew I put together...
The doors of the tavern crashed open.
"So I buried my axe in its head!" boomed a rough voice. The proclamation was met with a resounding cheer from the crowd that followed.
Natia felt the ground tremble beneath the footsteps of the new arrivals. She could swear at least one of them had hooves.
"I thought it was still alive," continued the crowds leader, " So then I buried my axe even deeper... in its head."
Natia decided that she was better off not looking back lest she attract the attention of some roughian. She prompted Barthia to continue, "So you were setting out on an adventure."
"Right, I had what was left of my old regiment with me: Sarheena, you've met her already, the best scout in the Empire and my brother Basil, he's the one in the kitchen. Finally there was..."
"Then they refused to pay me! Said the local soldiers could have killed that griffin..." interrupted the booming voice behind Natia, "I had to dangle the mayor out of a window to get my money!"
Natia was starting to get annoyed. She took a deep breath, self control was a virtue. She nodded to Barthia to continue.
"The last member of my party..." Barthia continued.
"Needless to say I'm not welcome there anymore but you do not, I repeat you do not cheat..."
Natia had had enough, "You're not welcome here either you...you boorish oaf!" Natia yelled. As the ground started to shake with the sound of thundering hooves Natia immideatly regretted what she had done.
A giant axe crashed into the bar to Natias left followed by another to her right. She was too terrified to scream. She felt hot breath on the back of her neck. The fact that it was coming from above told her that whatever was standing behind her was huge. She looked pleadingly at Barthia.
Barthia sighed, " The last member of my party is now standing right behind you. You have my sympathies."
Natia felt the giant behind her lean over. She heard and felt it short into her ear.
"I'm welcome wherever I feel like going little elf." the rough voice growled, "Unless you want to try kicking me out."
Barthia, standing serenely behind the bar, was now looking up and behind Natia. She removed a small notepad from under the bar and jotted something down, "That will be four hundred dogons for the bar, and the gods help you if you damage one of the stools."
Natia felt the giant lean back, "I don't have the money." it said, some of the menace in the voice now gone.
"Well I suggest you bury your axe in another head then," Barthia continued nonchalantly, "But not one belonging to one of my customers."
"Fine, I'll settle with you next week." said the giant. Natia felt it's breath again, "Now, turn around and maybe we can settle this like warriors."
Natia didn't want to. She had a reasonably good idea about what was standing behind her and she knew this wasn't going to end well. Against her better judgement she started to turn but tried to keep looking down. As a pair of gigantic hooves came into view her guess had proven correct. She was about to be murdered by a minotaur.
"Now look me in the eyes stickgirl." growled the minotaur.
Natia swallowed nervously, these were the last moments of her life and she was going to prolong them as long as possible. She raised her gaze from the hooves to the armored shins above them. The quality of the armor was as almost as impressive as the size of the calves it protected Natia thought. Above that Natia saw a pair of massive muscular thighs that made tree trunks look like twigs. To her surprise they were a lot more shapely than she had anticipated and bare but for the covering of light brown fur and a chain mail miniskirt that barely covered their upper half.
It was what she saw next that made Natia freeze. The minotaur wore what could only be defined as a literal breastplate, an armored bustier that seemed to serve no other purpose than to push up the largest pair of breasts that Natia had ever seen. Her eyes darted between the exquisite craftsmanship of the armor with its engraved script and heaving bosom it was theoretically supposed to protect.
A loud snort sent a rush of hot air into Natias face and snapped her out of her daze. "My eyes I said! Not my breasts!" the minotaur rumbled.
"Sorry, your breasts... your breastplate is very impressive." Natia mumbled.
Natia mustered her courage and looked up at the face of her soon to be killer. It wasn't what she had expected. The minotaurs face was pleasantly round with soft flat features and like the rest of her covered in brown fur. Her hazel eyes were big and bright, not at all the eyes of the vicious killer Natia had been anticipating. Her bovine nostrils were flared out in anger, each snort making the golden ring that hung between them bounce.
The horns above the minotaurs floppy ears were long and sharp, Natia tried not think about how many people had been gored by them. Her head was crowned by a golden mohawk.
Natia felt her fear subsiding. Despite her assailants size, easily surpassing eight feet in height, and rough manner she suddenly didn't feel like death was imminent.
Natia locked eyes with the minotaur. They stared at each other silently for a long minute. It was the minotaur that finally broke the silence, "Your eyes are disturbingly black."
"Your breasts are disturbingly large!" Natia hadn't intended to say that.
"Really? That's the best you've got?" the minotaur said, "Gotta do better than that."
"You didn't, but then I wouldn't expect something intelligent to come from that stupid barbarian brain of yours." Natia said horrifying herself. Most minotaurs were natives of the frozen north and many did live in denial of modern civilization but that was no reason to make assumptions. Natia decided that it was the stress that had made her say something so horrible. "I'm sorry, that was inappropriate." Natia stammered.
"If I wasn't such a stupid barbarian I might accept that apology," the minotaur roared, "But I think I'll just knock your lights out instead!"
"Take it outside!" Natia heard Barthia yell. "If you two want to fight then go outside, you know the rules about fighting in here Hillevi!"
"I don't want to fight..." Natia started.
"Fine!" Hillevi yelled as she snatched up her giant axes and hung them behind her back.
Before Natia could protest Hillevi snatched her up in her tree trunk arms, swung her onto her shoulder and stomped toward the door. Natia tried to struggle but the minotaurs iron grip was unbreakable. As the feeling of imminent doom returned Natia surrendered to her fate.

Max Egorov

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Author/ Digital Artist/ Drunk Historian. Welcome to the worlds inside my head. Enjoy the ride.