I can die now. Really. An easy permission comes over me, and I realize I’m pretty happy. Have been for some time. Of course, not completely. Ever. But happy enough. I think that’s important. Enough. The Buddhists like to say this awakening happens now and then when we’re not looking, if we practice being present. Don’t strive for enlightenment, just take it in fully when a redbird lands on the fence before us and deeply changes our state. Stay present and clear when noise and trouble surround us for this is life too. Not easy. Takes practice.
I look around with eyes wide open at a world I’ve co-created, filled up with a small family I’ve longed for since birth. A family of my choices. Different from the family I was born into. Family of origin. I ponder in moments…thinking of travels and events, of special people and the faded paper photos that freeze them in time. Time slows down for a moment and I can remember more completely the joy or sorrows that prevailed at those times that only seem like yesterdays.
“I have to say it now…It’s been a good life all in all…it’s really fine to have the chance to hang around” John Denver sings. “How sweet it is to love someone…how right it is to care”.