My Unpopular Opinion

Have you used the angry emoticon on Facebook yet? I have — yesterday, when I read about the legislation that would require women to register with the Selective Service. I think this is the sad but natural consequence of an idea that’s taking over our culture: men and women are the same. In this society you are entitled to your own opinion — if it is the socially correct one to have. My unpopular opinion is that men and women are not the same, and I prefer it that way.

I personally choose to love and celebrate the ways men and women are different. I am all for the rights of women — I am a CPA and entrepreneur who started her own business at the age of 26. I kicked ass in college, earning the highest GPA in our Jesuit business school where the majority of undergraduates were males. I would argue that my tenacious spirit comes from my mom who got it from my German grandmother. Measured by tenacity, stamina, determination, and grit, my grandmother is one of the strongest people I have ever known — certainly more so than any man in my family.

So do I fight for women’s rights? I don’t even take the time — I simply get out in the world and marketplace and show that those rights are already mine. ALL of that being said, I love the distinct and different reality of being a woman! I love my femininity. Whether you argue it was Creative Design or evolution, men and women offer this world different gifts and abilities (wading into the unpopular zone.) At the end of the day, our two animals cuddle up next to me because I naturally nurture them (24/7) as a part of my feminine nature. When I traveled with a young adult youth ministry team full-time, I relished in the fact that the guys on my team offered to carry the heavy equipment and consistently held the door for me. I was the co-leader of my team so this didn’t have anything to do with power or leadership — it was an acknowledgment of the fact that women have a grace and beauty unique to who they are, and I will forever be OK with a chivalrous man holding the door for me!

The difference between men and women was highlighted even more for me, growing up in a divorced home. If I got a bad stomachache at my dad’s house in the middle of the night, he would very lovingly rollover and say “Go drink some milk honey, that will help.” At mom’s house a completely different scenario played out; my mom woke up and came and laid in my bed and played with my hair until the sun came up or I fell asleep, talking me through the pain the entire time. As a girl who grew up with a twin brother, I have to laugh at the studies about gender-conditioned playtime. Are you kidding when you say that guys and girls don’t naturally play differently? I would play with my brother’s action figures daily, and in my hands they were always kissing and dating and taking care of the family. When my brother played with my barbies, they were always helicopters running into each other and blowing up into smithereens. We played together our entire childhood, and this was just par for the course. No one “taught” us how to play — we didn’t even attend a daycare. Sometimes I wore his clothes right down to the Ninja Turtle underwear, and because of that, along with my hideous haircut, I was often mistaken for a boy. Girl vs. boy, we were similar but different.

Most people would look at my marriage and call me the feisty, hot-headed one. When someone disrespects my husband, I get ready to punch the person in the face until he/she apologizes, while my husband just shakes his head in embarrassment. He is calm, cool, and collected — all of the time. But at the end of the day, it’s “mom” who is feeding the dog his allergy medicine saying “Babe I just feel so bad for him!” It’s “mom” who researches co-sleeping and how to breastfeed in public because “this little baby is going to need so much skin-time!” The other night it was “dad” who was killing all the ants in the kitchen while I screamed “infestation!” At that point he said, “Well I think ants don’t bother me anymore because one time at basic training, I woke up to fire ants all over my head, biting me over and over. I looked around, and there were piles of them everywhere so I just moved my sleeping bag in between two piles and lined it with baby powder. I fell asleep for the rest of the night so I think they must have left me alone.” I just laughed and, ironically, thought “Never in a million years…”

Well a million years went by really fast because here I am reading this article about women being drafted. I am not against women participating in the military; I am against the fact that one woman’s desire to be in armed forces dictates the future of women everywhere. And to me, it’s just a reminder of the prevalent theme that “gender makes no difference.” If gender is so unimportant, then why are there so many people choosing to undergo gender-altering operations?? Regardless of one’s stance on this particular political event, I think men and women are created equal and different, and that those differences are necessary and beautiful.

However unpopular, I celebrate the differences (and similarities) between a woman and a man.

#RantOver