Healing conversations with my 90-year-old self

Whenever I feel lost, confused, sad or just restless, I take a little time alone, go for a walk and have a talk with 90-year-old Mia.

She gives me lots of practical advice, some gentle smiles, and loving thoughts. Sometimes it’s just a quiet smirk, enough for me to realize the turmoils of my thoughts are just a flittering of the present that they don’t even need to catch the wind of my energy. Other times she gently scolds me, realigns my path with gratitude and rubs on my heart’s deep values to reset my decisions to what really matters.

And then there are days where she takes different forms, the fork at the road I’m in today can create 2 very different paths. She shows me the results it will take in her, how she will be affected by the paths. Both can be great, or not. It’s the evidence in her that helps me decide today.

The gentle wisdom, the deep understanding, a reflection of grandmotherly love to self that can get lost in mid-life, with it’s harsher self-judgment. Our time is relative, and in some moments I even believe it’s all happening at once. These little perspective interludes into a living and loving future give gentle peace to who I am today.