I’m a “post it” THEN “edit it” kind of writer.

A messy first draft is comforting until it’s in front of the eyes of the public.

I have a weird tendency and seem to rush to hit Post or Publish as soon as I ‘semi’ complete an article or post.. it’s that little ball of nerves to overcome to make things public and I feel like the faster that I do that the less I’ll have to worry about the fact that I just — made it public.

Once it’s published, it’s real and I then the pressure to edit hits full force.

Yes, I post and then I edit. Totally unprofessional, I know. Those grammar and spelling errors stand out so much clearer when there’s pressure knowing someone else might read it! I post, breath a sigh of relief for passing that barrier and then madly start reading as an editor, rather than an author.

It’s like I can’t come from that place of scrutiny or ruthlessness when I’m just a writing or getting my thoughts on the page, I actually have to have the fear of someone else reading those thoughts to feel the pressure to polish it up.

Maybe it’s because I still play in the little leagues and so my posting and writing is more behind the scenes, but I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve posted and then had to edit, scratch lines, fix autocorrects and remove pictures even, one-liners on Facebook.

Autocorrect can be a doozy for messy first drafts, or hasty posts on Facebook! That adds a whole new level of drama, doesn’t it? It’s not just grammar errors and run on sentences, it’s context and random words and weird insights into the stuff you’re privately searching on Google!

Just like when I need to clean my house. I chose not to do the obvious thing which would be, clean up…. but rather — I invite guests. The social peer pressure is enough me to do things I never do, like dust the baseboards, shine the oven knobs and buy some indoor plants.

Or, when there’s pressure to move, so you finally get your packing done after months notice. Or the night before exam, the bake sale, the interview, the date.

We all live under false pretences that pressure from outside sources is much more important than us. Why else are we driven more to action by fear of judgement than by our own desires to create, compete and connect?

Yes, I’m a post it then edit it kind of writer. My editing is driven by my fear of judgement, my impulsive early posting has to do with overcoming my fears of publishing and pressuring my performance to get it out before I think about it too much.

Who else writes like this… or am I the only one?

*now I’m going to post this, and I’m not going to edit it. I’ll let you all tell me the edits I missed 😉