this is about death

beyond thoughts and prayers, after the world moves on

1. grief and loss

It was irrational. The amount of fear I had that I wouldn’t wake up. I was terrified of going to sleep. I’m going to die. The thought came to mind, and in that moment, I truly believed it.

Grief is interesting in that way. It takes no form but makes its presence known to each individual in many different forms. The pain and shock immediately following a death may subside over time, but the phantom ache that comes with loss lingers for much longer. Long past the world has already moved on past the tragedy.

That’s an observation I made this time around. How quickly the world around you moves on, moves forward. The collective sense of support, comfort — the intangible feeling of solidarity exuded by the outpouring of sympathy is fleeting. It seemed to leave with the individuals as they left the funeral, as they expressed once more their condolences. Life after the service normalized quickly too. Too quickly. As if calibrating to the loss of an entire person is so simple and takes no effort at all.

The children are always the first to awaken. Their good behavior and careful treading begin to slip. And soon enough, they have already reverted to their usual liveliness. It’s understandable. The…