5 Tips for Going Back to Work After Baby

Headed back to work and wondering how you’re going to manage? You may be apprehensive about your choice, or you may be excited to get out of the house. You may be worried about child care, anxious about a body that hasn’t fully returned to its former size, and/or embarrassed about the idea of pumping at work. Overwhelmed? Totally normal.
I’m not an expert on much of anything. But after having three kids in four years, I know a thing or two about returning to work after having a baby. I am an “old mom,” having had my twins at age 43 and my last baby at age 47 (hey, if Halle Barry can do it, why can’t I?), so I was fairly established in my career by the time I had my kids, which I think was an advantage to me. That said, I think anybody who works for any kind of enlightened boss — even self-enlightened — can adopt some of the things that worked for me.
Here are some strategies that made my transition from maternity leave back to full-time pretty seamless.
1. Don’t take all of your maternity leave at once.
This may sound crazy, but I don’t recommend taking 12 weeks off straight and being completely incommunicado during that time. I took five weeks off and then started going back into the office one day a week. That day helped me to stay tuned in to what was going on so that I didn’t feel like the world completely changed while I was out. I met new people who had joined the company, reviewed financial performance, talked with my direct reports to make sure they were supported and touched base with my boss to make sure he got what he needed while I was out. It made me feel connected but more importantly, it gave me a chance to get comfortable with leaving my boys in the care of someone else and getting that routine down. After a few weeks, I added two days at work, then three. When I got back to all five in the office, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal.
To make this work, approach your boss with a flexible maternity schedule proposal in advance. Map out how you’d like to take the time off and explain the benefits to the company: a more engaged employee, a higher chance of retention, a more seamless experience for all. Because I am a nerd, I mapped everything out in a spreadsheet to show that the time I’d be taking off was exactly the same as if I’d taken all the leave at once.
If that doesn’t work for you, try some of these mini-tips to ease back into the routine:
· Make your first day back a short one — get in an hour late or leave an hour early
· Start back on a Wednesday or Thursday to make your first week a short one
· If you have vacation days saved up, use one each week for a few weeks. I’d use it on a Wednesday, so that I was only ever away for two days at a time.
2. Figure out your childcare plan as soon as you can after you’re pregnant.
Do your research while you’re pregnant and figure out what options will work for your peace of mind and your budget, whether it be family, day care, a live-out nanny or a live-in nanny. We chose a live-out nanny, because we don’t live near any of our family members and we needed a more flexible arrangement than day care.
Know what’s important to you and don’t settle for less. I was so overwhelmed by our twins that I felt it was critical to have a nanny with twin experience and I prioritized that above all else. My first nanny had twin experience and was very confident, but she didn’t share any of our values. She was a total disaster and we fired her within a month, which was a real drag, but our second nanny was a gem and she’s been with us ever since. She has twin experience, but more importantly, a joyful soul and caring demeanor. She treats my boys like her own and they love her, which gives me tremendous comfort and peace of mind. It’s worth it to take the extra time to find the childcare solution that meets 100% of your criteria.
3. Have a pumping strategy.
The idea of talking to my former boss about nursing would have totally mortified me, but maybe you are blessed enough to work for a fellow mama. In all honesty, I was not a huge fan of nursing, so I was happy to give it up when I went back to work, but if you are still nursing, you’re going to want to have a strategy to pump ahead of time.
If talking to your boss is uncomfortable, talk to HR or find another mom to ask how she handled it. You need to know where you can pump in privacy and how you’ll store your milk. Also, block off your calendar for pumping times so that you’re not in a meeting at an inopportune time. Keep an extra shirt or jacket in the office in the event that your breasts leak unexpectedly and it doesn’t hurt to be prepared with a few funny one-liners about breast-feeding (I gotta go, but hey, thanks for the mammories!). Even if something embarrassing happens, know this: you are making food for your baby — you are literally a wonder woman.
4. Make a plan for emergency days.
Your partner is a competent parent who should be expected to pull his/her own weight and your career is as important as his/hers. So…you should set the expectation that you will equally share the burdens of doctors appointments, and days that your childcare fails you. Agree ahead of time how you’ll divvy up these days. Will you take turns no matter what? Will you decide on the day of based on who has the most “non-cancellable” meetings (and by the way, all meetings are cancellable)? However you decide to do it, communication is key.
Single parent? Look around for on-demand nanny services and emergency day care, get signed up for the services and save those numbers in your favorites.
Regardless, know that when you’re home with your child, you’re not going to be able to do anything else, so cancel all your calls, take a deep breath and just accept that there are days when you’re just trying to get through it to bed time and that’s okay.
5. Give it six months.
My mom’s wisdom with every life change is always to “give it six months.” Her belief is that if you give up before then, you’ve not allowed yourself time to adjust, but by six months, you have given it enough of a chance to know. And if I’ve learned anything over the last 48 years, it’s that Mom is Always Right. If you don’t love it after six months, then make a change. Go part-time, work from home, find a different job closer to your home, stay home with your kids or if none of those options are doing it for you, do what I did and start your own business. The great news is that you have plenty of options.
No go forth and conquer the world. You’ve so got this, #momboss.
How did you manage the transition back? What worked and what didn’t? Please share your tips in the comments section.
Photo credit: From the blog Mama on the Mend, an excellent place to get the down low on postpartum bodies and lifestyles.
