Mountain Dew NEW FLAVORS Review
Hello, followers. If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “euphoric.” I was just reading Hitchens, thinking about how God is dead, and contemplating the differences between the flavors of Mountain Dew. This post is going to be an in-depth comparison between three new flavors of Mountain Dew: Black Label, Green Label, and White Label.
I am going to be judging these Dews for three different attributes: taste, mouthfeel, and tannins.
Mountain Dew: White Label
Taste: Mountain Dew: White Label is flavored with Tropical Citrus. It mostly tasted like pineapple and Mountain Dew. While the Mountain Dew flavor was exquisite and reminded me of the many inconsistencies in the Bible, I thought that the tropical flavors were a weird addition.
Mouthfeel: This had the perfect Mountain Dew feel. It was bubbly, syrupy, and all over perfect. I had just gotten it out of the fridge, so it was incredibly cold. This was excellent and it fully met my expectations for Mountain Dew.
Tannins: I couldn’t really feel the tannins in this one. I think it would have been better with more emphasis on the tannins.
Taste: 6/10
Mouthfeel: 10/10
Tannins: 3/10
Overall: 19/30
Mountain Dew: Green Label
Taste: Mountain Dew: Green Label is Green Apple Kiwi flavored. I think the green apple flavor really accented the citrusy flavors of Mountain Dew. I found the kiwi to be a little off-putting, but I thought it worked with the taste. I would have dialed it back on the kiwi and brought the green apple flavor up a notch.
Mouthfeel: This mouthfeel was delightful. The drink was cold and reminiscent of the reality of our meaningless existence. The bubbles were small and sleek under my tongue. It was syrupy enough to coat my throat and mouth with mucus, but not so syrupy that I felt gross afterwards.
Tannins: I drank this whole thing and I only tasted three to four tannins in the entire bottle. That is not nearly the tannin action I was hoping for.
Taste: 8/10
Mouthfeel: 10/10
Tannins: 4/10
Overall: 22/30
Mountain Dew: Black Label
Taste: This was the tastiest of the group. I originally thought it was black cherry flavored, but it was actually dark berry flavored. The berry flavor was great with the Mountain Dew. This is one of the best flavored Dews I have ever had.
Mouthfeel: This mouthfeel is second to none. I loved the bubbles, I loved the syrup, I loved knowing the truth that the Earth will eventually be swallowed by the sun and, at that moment, all love will be lost forever. I couldn’t ask for for a better mouthfeel.
Tannins: Honestly, I think this Dew had the best tannins so far, but it was still nowhere near a good Cabernet. I love Mountain Dew, but I think it really needs to step up its tannin game.
Taste: 10/10
Mouthfeel: 10/10
Tannins: 5/10
Overall: 25/30
Conclusion:
I love Mountain Dew. While White and Green Labels were middling flavors of Mountain Dew, I thought Black Label was one of the best. Black Label destroyed White and Green labels, just like Hitchens destroyed William Lane Craig in this debate.
There is an obvious question here: are any of these flavors close to replacing Mountain Dew: Code Red as the official best Mountain Dew of all time?
No. They are not. Mountain Dew: Code Red is and always will be the best flavor of Mountain Dew ever invented.
