Wow Kate that was an extremely brave thing to do. If I am surrounded by happy people who love to learn and challenge themselves, I am happy. Sounds so easy. Like most advice, it is easy to say, but hard to do. I think though everyone has to go through their own experiences before they can say “fuck it” and make the decision to “do you” and find the people who respect that and support you.

When I was young (er), I called my dad “dad”.

Between 15–30 he was referred to as “father” and I was doing more to please him than myself — working in a bank, suit and tie etc.

I am 37 now and he is backed to being called “dad” again.

He was the typical strict military father and it took me a long time to understand that he wanted me to have a safe life because that is what he spent his life fighting for. Until I understood his “why” I fought back and our relationship suffered. He grew up poor and choose the military to break free and worked hard for me to be able to go to college, etc. and he knew I had a chance to break the cycle and build upon what he worked for. It took him a long time to accept that I had to live the life that I wanted and it took me a long it me to understand his point of view.

Our relationship is better than ever now and he supports my crazy ideas and even thinks they are interesting when 10 years ago he would have lectured me.

Make sense?

BTW I think you are my first online friend. I kinda like it.