4 things Simon Sinek got wrong about millennials in the workplace
I was shocked to learn recently that I wasn’t who I thought I was. It’s true. Apparently I’ve been an imposter my whole life — living a lie.
For most of my life I’ve been acutely aware of my place in history and the time period that I inhabit. Having been born in the late 80s, I always thought I’d been categorised as Generation Y. But in my research for this blog I was stunned to learn that I am in fact classified as a ‘millennial’.
Well buy me slippers and call me Dorothy
It turns out that a millennial is anyone born roughly in the two decades preceding the beginning of the 21st century — pretty much anyone born from about 1980 to about 2000.
I always understood the term ‘millennial’ to mean anyone born from the late 90s to roughly 2010. In other words, someone who grew up in the new millennium and as such is accustomed to the technologies of the new millennium. Makes sense to me. But no, turns out the definition of ‘millennial’ is broader than what I at least thought it was. Gen Y is now an alternative term for my generation with ‘millennial’ increasingly becoming the lingua franca.
Simon Sinek on millennials in the workplace
Okay so this terminology adjustment is not a groundbreaking discovery, and maybe some of you have been used to its accurate definition for a while, but for me it’s a shift in mindset. I’ve seen analysis after analysis about how to deal with millennials in the modern workplace and now it turns out all this analysis has been talking about me!
Have you seen the new Simon Sinek video that’s been doing the rounds on social media?
It’s about Millennials in the Workplace. You can check it out here:
I’ve come across it repeatedly across social media. Now, I’m an advocate of Sinek’s ideas — particularly those around purpose. In fact I’ve referenced his ideas in my own videos. So when I saw a new video of him I had to check it out.
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When I realised he was talking about me by talking about millennials, I got my popcorn, made myself comfortable, and eagerly anticipated what he had to say.
But my eagerness slowly faded.
The more I watched, the more I felt uncomfortable. Here was Sinek talking about the generational group to which I belong and making sweeping statements about our way of life. Some of these statements and ideas were far from accurate and this, I felt, was problematic enough to warrant a response.
I admire Simon Sinek and his ideas, but even the people you admire should be scrutinised from time to time. Sinek has had his say on millennials in the workplace from a Gen X perspective, allow me to respond as a millennial who is active in the workplace.
Not all of Sinek’s points are wrong
Although I find problems with what Sinek said in this video, not everything he mentioned was wrong. Here are some accurate points he raised.
We live in a world of dopamine-producing devices and media
We know that social media has evolved the way we connect and interact with one another, and now we’re starting to understand the physiological and psychosocial impacts of social media. One such affect is that social media can contribute to producing the chemical dopamine. Perhaps more than ever we’re seeking to feel good, and things like social media can help us feel good. The risk is it can lead to addiction.
Millennials want to make an impact
Broadly speaking this is accurate. Many younger people want to contribute something to the world — whether through life or through work. There is an eagerness to make a positive difference to the world, and this is partly encouraged by global forces such as climate change. There is, perhaps, a deep understanding among millennials that individuals can make a difference and so this desire to make an impact operates at an individual level. Hence why it can be difficult for younger people to remain at an organisation if they feel they are not contributing to a positive social, communal or global outcome.
Younger generations need to learn patience
True, although this isn’t restricted to millennials. The 21st century flows at a very fast pace and the ‘information age’ contributes to the speed at which we live. A fast-moving world creates a more difficult environment in which to function at a slow pace; thus making it more challenging to slow down and be patient. Millennials grow up in a globalised, highly competitive world — who has time to be patient when you’re trying to simply keep up with the pace, let alone get ahead? The rise of mindfulness in the Western world is a positive side-effect that’s helping millennials and other generations learn about presence and patience.
And now the problem areas…
I don’t disagree with all of Sinek’s points in the video above, but I do find some generalisations irksome. Below are five ideas presented by Sinek that are inaccurate generalisations when it comes to discussing millennials.
Millennials can’t form deep & meaningful relationships
At 5:43 in the above video Sinek explains that studies show ‘too many kids don’t know how to form deep and meaningful relationships.’ This is one of the incorrect assumptions made in the video. As a millennial, I don’t see how I could have had a 10+ year relationship with my wife if I didn’t form a deep, meaningful and personal relationship with her. The same goes for friends of mine in long-term marriages or relationships.
Furthermore, it’s well-known that many friendships are ‘superficial’ — that’s why they’re considered more like ‘acquaintances’ (one Australian lady even categorises her social media connections at different acquaintance levels). Millennials understand that every single one of their Facebook friends isn’t a close friend. Concepts like Dunbar’s number hold true in that there is a limit (150 according to Dunbar) to how many social media connections you can call ‘friends’. The number of connections beyond Dunbar’s 150 are people who are part of your social media audience – people with whom you can communicate or stay in touch.
Social media can quantify the amount of connections a person has — something previous generations didn’t have stated so blatantly. I think it’s possible for older generations to misinterpret the quantity of social media connections one person has as deep and meaningful friendships when this isn’t the case. ‘Friends’ is just a label popularised by Facebook, perhaps ‘connections’ is a better label if ‘friends’ leads to confusion that meaningful relationships can’t be achieved.
Millennials are as capable as any previous generation of developing deep and meaningful relationships, we just won’t do so with every single connection we have on social media.
Millennials are addicted to their phones at meals & meetings
At 6:39 Sinek says, ‘If you’re sitting at dinner with your friends and you’re texting somebody who’s not there, that’s a problem, that’s an addiction.’
Addiction’s a strong word. If I’m out at dinner and I respond to a message in a texting conversation I’ve been having with someone throughout the day and someone at dinner points out that I have an addiction to my phone, I’m going to be offended. Before Christmas I caught up with a bunch of friends for dinner. There were six of us — a whole flock of millennials! Yet none of us had our phones surgically attached to our hands. We were able to have a good time face-to-face without having to banish our phones.
Phones can even add to the entertainment of a social occasion if you want to check a fact to resolve a playful argument or look up a trivia question.
There’s a difference between repeatedly checking your phone while at dinner or a meeting and occasionally checking your phone. To blanket both behaviours as an addiction is problematic.
Millennials suffer from instant gratification
At 7:28 Sinek begins discussing instant gratification. Yes, the idea of instant gratification is more prevalent now than it has possibly ever been, but it’s not isolated to millennials. Anyone can binge watch a TV show, anyone can shop on Amazon. ‘You don’t even have to learn [to be awkward on a date anymore],’ Sinek says. #yeahright. My life has been full of awkward moments — especially during my teenage dating experiences! Don’t get me started on how many cringe-worthy incidents I’ve experienced. Be careful of that high horse; it’s not just Gen X that had to learn how to interact on a date.
This instant gratification argument reminds me of the ‘I want rant’ scene from the 1991 film Hook when Captain Hook is complaining about Peter Pan’s kids.
Replace ‘Captain Hook’ with ‘older generations’ and ‘Peter Pan’s kids’ with ‘millennials’ and you have an over-simplified argument depicting millennials as wanting everything immediately. The thing is, desire is a human condition not bound by birth date.
Everyone wants gratification in some form. In the workplace it may be feedback, rewards, recognition, promotion, compensation — it’s a psychological wiring of human beings not restricted to millennials. Whether it’s instant or not will vary from person to person. But I can tell you that the only gratification I want is that which I’ve invested the appropriate amount of effort in to earn; and the investment of effort is rarely instantaneous.
If instant gratification is a thing, it’s not limited to millennials.
Millennials will never find joy or fulfilment
At 10:00 Sinek says: ‘The best case scenario is you have an entire population growing up and going through life and just never really finding joy. They’ll never really find deep, deep fulfilment.’
Wow.
I admit this one surprised me. It’s quite a statement to make. Sinek is blatantly saying the absolute best chance my entire generation has in life if we do everything right is to just ‘waft through life’.
Wrong. Just plain, unflavoured, unmarinated, unseasoned wrong. This is somewhat of a sensationalist approach that only contributes to isolating millennials further from other generations. I don’t accept for a minute that because I’ve engaged in the technology of my time and used things like social media I will never experience happiness or fulfilment.
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Finding joy and fulfilment is a personal experience and journey that is different for every person. I’ve had my fair share of highs and lows and no doubt I’ll have plenty more highs and lows ahead of me.
Millennials and future generations are as capable of achieving fulfilment in their lives and finding joy as any generation that has come before.
Newsflash: We’re not so different
These points that Sinek poses in the above video are an example of how generalisations harm our understanding of one another.
In my mind these kinds of points exemplify the way older generations attempt to understand the differences that exist with newer generations. If Gen Xers or Baby Boomers were able to ‘find joy’ and resist ‘instant gratification’, then that’s great. But just because previous lifestyles differed from current or newer lifestyles, it doesn’t mean new lifestyles are entirely wrong.
Yes, studies are discovering the psychological and physiological impacts 21st-century lifestyles are having on people, mainly younger people, but these are lessons that are being learnt as with any social, technological or cultural evolution.
I agree that millennials have a responsibility not to be too absorbed in technology; that, like others, we need to put effort into forming human, face-to-face connections with others; that, like others, we need to make efforts to connect with the natural world around us. But you’re not going to form stronger connections with newer generations by generalising and demonising their lifestyles.
It didn’t take me long to discover an array of articles talking about how millennials aren’t that different, from authors such as Mark Ritson, Julie Winkle Giulioni and Murad Hemmadi. In fact Jerome Harris takes issue with the same Simon Sinek video as I do in a recent post of his.
At the end of the day, don’t treat newer generations too differently from your own generation. Call us ‘millennials’ if you want, but remember that we’re not that much different from you.
Read more of my blogs at michaelwos.com