Movies To Make A Grown Man Cry

Michael Brakemeyer
Aug 27, 2017 · 8 min read

Posted on August 26, 2017 by BRAKEintoFILM

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” Charles Dickens / Great Expectations

When sitting in a darkened theater and the everyday distractions are blissfully worlds away, sometimes the unexpected can happen when one gets emotionally involved in a good movie. There is, of course, laughter, amazement, shock, and happiness that can occur. And then there are the tears. Yes, we all cry at times when a movie, or a song, and maybe a piece of art will drudge up some unexpected memory which casts some colored feelings over your mind to produce tears of joy, regret, or pain. Men cry too. Whether some want to admit it or not, we positively absolutely do. Some may even try to slyly hide it with a popcorn box or quickly wipe away the evidence. Yes, we cry. Any man that says he does not is lying. There is nothing to be ashamed about it, but men are still subjected to media images of a manhood which is strong and silent. The only moisture hitting “the blinding dust of earth” (as Dickens said) with these accepted images of men are from sweating or rainfall dousing upon their heads.

So what kind of movies would actually make a man cry? Is it when ET purportedly dies with the boy Elliot clinging to him? Or maybe when some two hundred million dollar sports car gets trashed in a Fast And Furious story? There is no one set of criteria for what a grown man would cry at in the movies. It is, of course, entirely subjective and based on the individual person. So, for the sake of argument and a little fun, I will list some movies that never fail to bring a tear to my eye. I mean, it is classic choking up time when these scenes arrive on the screen for me. I am not afraid to admit it. There are various reasons why this occurs with these particular scenes and I will use this opportunity to explore it. I have five examples to display. There is a recurring theme of death or impending death with some of the choices, but for the most part, the scenes vary in styles and motifs.

1.) Expectations dashed in Charles Chaplin’s City Lights from 1931.

Charlie Chaplin (playing the iconic Tramp) has fallen in love with a visually impaired flower girl and maintained an image of himself towards her that did not match reality. When the flower girl regains her sight at the end and searches for this man who was kind and caring towards her, she does not “see” Chaplin at first. When he confesses it was him, Chaplin cuts to an over the shoulder shot that homes in on the expectation of rejection (based on his appearance) with all his hopes and dreams about to be crushed.

That one shot encompasses so many things in Chaplin’s eyes, but it also involves a lot of what is in me. Chaplin manages to conjure up those tears in me, but earns it with such grace and heart through his lovable Tramp.

2.) The swing-set in Akira Kurosawa’s Ikiru from 1952.

Kanji Wantanabe finds out he is slowly dying and discovers there is nothing to show for his life. He has not lived, but merely existed (hence the English title translation of To Live). Throughout the film, he searches and examines through his life and focuses on beautifying a neighborhood playground park. When all seems lost, Kanji goes to the park and sits on one of the swings. Humming softly, he swings slowly in the snow, knowing his death is very near. This humble law abiding man, who did everything by the book, finally discovers what life is all about…and it is too late. I cannot help but be touched by his acceptance of his situation.

I watch this at least once a year and it never fails to produce tears when that scene arrives. This lonely man faces his consequences with great humility and tranquility.

2.) The projection room in Giuseppe Tornatore’s Cinema Paradiso, from 1988.

Salvatore grew up in a small Italian village where he befriended the local movie house projectionist, Alfredo, and slowly becomes an important figure in his childhood, where no father existed for him. The film has humor, love, tragedy, and a tremendous sense of nostalgia that you cannot help but love. Tragedy does strike and the now adult Salvatore hears word that his mentor, Alfredo, has died. The gift that Alfredo has bestowed upon his young apprentice is of such tenderness and love. Sitting in a projection booth, Salvatore witnesses his childhood all over again when the images of every “lewd and profane” scene in all the movies they played in his small town are spliced together (the local parish made them cut out kissing and brief nudity in classic Italian, French, and American films they were presenting to protect the townspeople at that time).

Niagara Falls takes place every time I see that scene. I know it is coming, but it does not matter. It is because of the characters I love dearly in this film and the haunting nostalgia of a childhood lost inside me.

4.) 1634 Racine Avenue in Brian De Palma’s The Untouchables, from 1987.

Jim Malone was an old Chicago street cop on the beat for 20 years with nothing on his mind but getting off his shift alive each night. Then one evening he spots a young Elliot Ness looking suspiciously dismayed and packing some heat. This blossoms into a friendship and business partner in fighting crime, namely Al Capone and his bootlegging business. Jim Malone was the role Sean Connery was born to play (besides his iconic portrayal of super suave 007). He brought a toughness and humanity with an ever present spectre of death around him. Malone talks about death, violence, and its consequences all the time in the film. He is no nonsense and you cannot help but love the guy and wish him well on his retirement. Those retirement plans changed when he met Ness. One evening at his place on 1634 Racine Ave, Capone decided Malone had hurt him enough and sent hitman Frank Nitti to take care of business. When Ness arrives in the aftermath of a bloody shootout, he finds his dear friend Malone lying face down on his throw rug and screams, “God damn!!!”. When I hear those words and see Ness rush to his friend (and father figure), I feel the anguish and pain for a man I cared for so much as well and get misty eyed every damn time. Ennio Morricone’s haunting music certainly adds to the emotion of the event as well.

Perhaps I think of my own father when watching this scene and relive that day of his passing. Malone was a man of honor and a caring individual, much like my father. I don’t believe I was ever so happy to see a man fall to his death, as I was when Ness pushed Nitti off the roof in that climatic chase near the end of this film.

5.) One last ride on his shoulders in Samuel Fuller’s The Big Red One, from 1980.

Writer and director Samuel Fuller was assigned to the First Infantry, The Big Red One, in WWII and was exposed to the real horror of war. His film is a sort of chronicle of his experiences from D-Day to the liberation of Dachau. The Sergeant (no other name is given to the career defining performance of Lee Marvin), quietly leaves one of his young privates who is continually shooting into the ovens where an already deceased German guard was hiding. He walks over and discovers a young boy, one of the interned prisoners in this camp, slowly walking up to him. Throughout the film, The Sergeant continually draws the children’s interest with his strong fatherly persona, which hides a soft caring nature. This boy approaches The Sergeant where he receives a piece of food from him which he eagerly accepts. The Sergeant senses the boy needs some caring and takes him outside to a tree where they share some more food while other soldiers are busy investigating the camp in shock of what they are seeing.

When the impromptu picnic is finished, The Sergeant urges the boy to get up on his shoulders so he can give him a ride. The look on The Sergeant’s face has taken on the whole world’s pain and sadness (Marvin’s performance is brilliant) while the boy happily rides upon his strong shoulders. It is when the camera closes in on The Sergeant’s face do we realize something is wrong. The boy slumps. The apple he was eating falls off to the side. Tears form in The Sergeant’s eyes as he realizes the boy has died. One of the private’s voice is heard in narration throughout the film and he tells us that The Sergeant kept walking for several hours before he put the boy down. Niagara Falls again from me whenever I see that boy slump on his shoulders, for that is what war is all about…the death of innocence and the innocent. Whether this was based on a true event or it actually happened to Samuel Fuller himself, it does not matter for it has a ring of a deafening truth. Lee Marvin’s performance is impeccable and the very soul of The Big Red One. It never fails to move me each time I watch it.

It takes certain experiences, raw emotions to have a movie strike nerves within us. As Charles Dickens stated, it is good to cry. It does not have to be only in pain or anguish, but in thought and reflection as well.

Happy tears or sad tears, we all do it. Even grown men.

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