6 Steps To Overcome The Urge To Always Want To Impress Others
Why do we often indulge the pressure to impress people, even those who don’t care we exist?
Don’t look too far in your search.
It’s not unusual to have one of such person as your friend, neighbour, classmate, business colleague, the count can go on.
Most times, educational achievements don’t save you from this. Neither do our careers, creed, country, sex, and economic status. We are bedevilled by this urge, it continuous to make many lives miserable.
Funny, it could be you reading this post now. You are not immune from it.
Do you remember those times you have struggled to impress, lived above your economic status, massaged your ego, and maintained a false image you want others to believe about you?
This kind of lifestyle sucks the energy away from you and makes you dejected with little energy to carry out the most important things in your life. It is just a clear example of poor choice and misplaced priority.
Why is it so?
Pankaj Gupta said,
‘‘It is normal as a human being to want to look good, and having a successful life; however, many indulge in these things to get approval from others be it their friends and/ or family and it can also include people that one doesn’t even know.’’
Some reasons why people behave the way they do may be they feel insecure, less confident about themselves and always trying to prove a point of nothing in the real sense.
It could also be they always compare themselves with others, to show they belong to the group, wants to be accepted by people, even those they barely know or those who don’t care if they exist and judging their abilities by the approval from others.
In his article captioned, Rule #6: Stop Trying to Impress Other People, Trent Hamm gave six simple practical steps on how to break free from trying to impress people. I agree with him and would present his point below and what I think could be done to overcome this.
1. Take the lead
He talked about you first taking the lead within your group, meeting, gathering, or any circle you find yourself and be a trendsetter to influence the direction of the discussion. This way, you reduce or avoid soaking up the pressure; feeling propped up to impress, to fit in.
2. Try new activities
Trent suggested trying new activities with your circle of friends or on your own. The goal being trying new things or activities you might never have tried before and decline to get involved in activities that are against your belief.
Stop trying hard to impress people by agreeing to play along. Nobody gets better doing that. It only increases the pressure, bit by bit, you feel choked up.
3. Guide the conversation
You must always be vigilant and ready to guide your conversations with others, away from topics that belittle you, pressure you, to areas you are passionate about.
When discussion starts digressing to bland compliments and insults of people outside the group, speak up and suggest an ice breaker or idea that dramatically turns the gear to something meaningful. Vigilance and courage are important keys here.
4. Use your compliments wisely
‘‘Offer compliments on jobs well done, but don’t bother with big compliments on new gadgets or new clothing or a shiny new car. It’ll become clear that what you value are people who take charge of their life, not people that fritter away their money trying to impress others’’.
5. Share personal growth oriented thoughts
The key is focusing your discussion most times on thoughts related to personal growth than talks about ‘‘stuff’’ all the time. Trent talked about sharing your thoughts about how you are working on trimming your excessive spending habits.
For this to be effective, he advised that one read good materials in areas of growth to have what to share at all times. It improves your confidence and makes you willing to say no to former habits which push you to always impress.
Niche and purposeful study helps at the long run.
6. Explore new relationships
Open up your circle of friends with persons that can inspire you and connect with them.
Trim out those friends that take pleasure in often focusing heavily on impressing others, material gains and mundane things that don’t connect with your inner being and life purpose.
‘‘In short, don’t play socially by the tired old rules that revolve around needing to impress people. Instead, spend your time on things that bring real value to you — and give real value to others.’’ — Trent.
Old habits, compulsions are not easy to overcome. It is possible to move away from them. You must be willing to go the necessary mile.
One among the easiest way is to move away and cut ties from persons, places, situations that trigger the mood and response towards wanting to always impress others.
Moving forward, you need to read positive literatures, open up to new relationships and connect to persons that share your deep thoughts about the things you cherish the most in life.
Build, join or connect with a strong support group and begin your recovery.
I was once a serious patient but with conscious efforts and daily practical application of the right principles, I have significantly overcome it and moving towards, if not full recovery.
Mind you, the pressure to impress will always be there. We are human. It’s possible to overcome it. You alone can decide.
What is it going to be?
Continue the conversation
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Thank you for reading! Have a beautiful day.
©Michael Chidozie — Blogger