To Hoda: A Friendly Roast

About a year ago, I saw a beautiful girl in Busan and wondered if the both of us would ever become close. Unfortunately, I never saw her again.

Even more unfortunately, I met Hoda. She helped me build my first snowman, and I helped her build up a lot of rage and anger. Together, we built a friendship that not even we can comprehend. I mean, we get that we’re friends, but we don’t understand why. With her mustard-colored jacket and half-shaved head, she had her days when she was the most amazing person in the world. Or so I’ve heard; I have yet to see that day.

The first thing I noticed was her green eyes and the look they constantly gave me as if I had a second mouth and a thumb for a nose. The shade of her iris matched her spirit animal that is a turtle, and her spirit animal matched the way she ate which is, well, turtle-like. I’ll never give her the satisfaction by calling her a best friend, but she’s definitely worth high-fiving at least once or twice.

I wish I could simply replace her with another person, but since we’re being honest, it’s impossible to find someone who is as strange as she. All roasting aside, Hoda, I’m going to miss you. I don’t miss you yet, but give it a few years, and I’ll start to. I hope you get home safe and do well in grad school. Go kick butt, you ninja turtle.

Sincerely, M