Man of God
He found me weeping, overcome with Fear. He found me defeated, drowning in tears. I was hospitalized, overcome with hallucinations, lies told to me by my own eyes. Hearing things that were not true. Flailing on the floor, nurses and doctors carrying injections, receiving a needle in the name of truth.
“Jesus help me, I give my life to you, if you will just help me through this.”
With that my body went limp. I gave up all tension, all holding within.
I survived that moment, which I feared so much. But fear was not done with me, it had more tricks up its sleeve. And that would not be the last hallucination, would not be the last delusion, though I wish I could say I was finally free.
Diagnosed with Bipolar and then Schizophrenia, or more accurately Schizoaffective Disorder: Bipolar Type, I would be hospitalized three more times. Each time confronted with the lies in my own mind. Planted by a sower seeking my destruction, and hoping I would never become a knower of truth.
One time he almost got me to kill myself, but the Lord saved me with just moments to spare. God gave me a clarity with which to see, with which to stare directly at the enemies foiled plan.
For the Lord had saved me, for that was his plan. For years I’ve lived trapped in my mind, fighting a war that has already been won for me, a gift given before time.
He calls me a Man of God. When I said that I couldn’t do it, that I was a coward, he called me courageous.
He told me my fears, my mistaken beliefs, my false identity, was completely outrageous.
When will you stop listening to the lies in your mind? When will you recognize that you child, you are mine?
A mighty warrior in the name of the Most High. Now put on your armor. Get to the front lines. Be courageous in battle. Know that you are mine.
Michael Christopher Migioia is a survivor of mental illness and a trained soldier in the Army of the Most High. He writes about the battles he has overcome through faith in Jesus Christ.