When you try everything to not be friends!

Here is a bitch I met in high school. He was kind of a shy damsel in distress who needed help to become the social butterfly he is today. The day was a random ass day our junior year of high school. Randomly we both had to do an English make up test after school. Even more random we just happened to be in the same English class. Even more randomly he sat right behind me but we never spoke. Like I said he was shy bitch. So we walk to our make up test and our teacher was like sorry guys come back at 3:30. I’m busy. I could see the look of defeat on his face. He just wanted to Ace his dumb vocabulary test. Not even phased by the delay of my English teacher I decided to head to Starbucks. It was happy hour so of course it was a no brainier. We are both walking to our cars and Carl is about 10 feet ahead of. He was sulking because God for bid he wait 45 minutes to take a make up test. Anyways I call to him and I said, “Hey wait up! Your name is Carl right?” He shyly answers because the amount of social awkwardness he bares around people. Well I told him we had time to kill and it was happy hour at Starbucks if he wanted to join. After a few seconds of hesitation he finally agrees. I told him I had to run a few errands first before we could head to Starbucks. As soon as I said that I could see the look of maybe this isn’t a good idea in his tiny little pupils. By his own courage though, maybe he was tired of being by himself or maybe he just wanted to make a new friend, I don’t know but he still tagged along. The card ride running errands and to Starbucks was awkward I won’t lie. He could barely keep a conversation. He was so closed off and almost gave up with this new friendship. Finally we head back to school and both take our test and finish almost at the same time. Once again heading to ours with Carl walking close enough to make small talk. We got in our cars and head our separate ways. And that was how I started a p cool friendship with a shy bitch. Because of me has turned into a social butterfly who is no longer afraid to talk to people. You’re welcome Carl. Stay tuned for how I started all of my friendships with some pretty lonely people.

Americas social guru,

Michael Colombero