LOVE – A State OF Emergency

Michael Dale
Aug 9, 2017 · 3 min read
Photo by Timothy Kolczak on Unsplash

I don’t know about you, but I am so tired of the mind-boggling, soul-destroying, bullshit people pass off as ‘Love’ in relationships. We are genuinely damaging one another and waste years of each other’s lives trying to live up to deluded fantasies of what it is supposed to be. It’s just not on.

The repulsive mess of cheesy memes and quick fixes churned out by invariably self-appointed relationship gurus only seems to make a very bad situation worse.

We need a tragic hero Batman type to step in and help us run that toxic shit out of town. A dark knight who continues to grapple with their demons and on the strength of hard-won battle scars can help us to face ours.

If you find him or her, please let me know, but while we’re waiting, I’m going to give it a go. Someone did call me the Prince of Darkness once in a therapy group, that will have to do.

Allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of numerous flaws and failings and some of my greatest fuck up’s have been in Love.

Not an impressive CV I’m sure you’ll agree, but at least it’s honest. In my defence, I have slightly more often than not been able to fail-forwards and learn some lessons about how we can make being with each other work better.

When I say better, I mean significantly less insanity-inducing. I can’t promise anything, you may be too far gone but give this stuff a proper go, and there’s a good chance you will experience the odd breakthrough moment. You might even learn how to be a bit less of an emotionally stunted asshole, I have.

Recently I was pretty damn honoured to receive what I judge to be the highest and most honest form of compliment one human can give another.

“I can be me around you.”

In my neurotic, angst-ridden experience, all we really want from relationships are people we can just be ourselves around. So it makes sense that if you want one of those people in your life you become one as well.

It sounds terrifying and unobtainable, but mostly all it means is being someone to whom others can say ‘yes’ when they mean ‘yes’ and ‘no’ when they mean ‘no’.

Someone who others can trust not to make assumptions about their behaviour but check those assumptions before drawing any conclusions so they can be free from always worrying about how they come across.

A person whom others can ask for what they want knowing they might not get it and either way it is ok because, in the end, that’s better for everyone on this long hard road of life.

It might sound a bit lofty, but to me, this is the highest expression of humanity and something to which all of us can aspire because being less of an asshole genuinely makes the world a better place.

Enough blabbing let’s get on with it, useful stuff is coming soon.

Meet me at www.michaeldale.me

Written by

Life coach on a startup journey.

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