Michael Evarts
Aug 22, 2017 · 4 min read

Robert Cormack, that is a funny write. I like the humor/satire and the interesting and somewhat, ah, um, sh**ty facts. dysentery. The facts are very actuate and well documented, (at least that’s what I’ll say). Interesting and humorous.

I realize that wars are the dreams of old men. They sit and think and wish for something to occupy their addled minds, so, they invented wars. It is sort of like the Pope Urban ll saying; “I’m bored. Lets do something to liven things up. I’ve got it, we’ll tell the people that the Muslim’s are taking over the Holy Land and we have to get them out.” So, the “People’s Crusade” was led by the well know and famous, “Peter the Hermit,” and it was mostly maned by low ranking knights and peasants, with lots of people unfamiliar with fighting and which end of the sword to hold, (lots of impalement by those peasants along the way). Sad, very sad. Every day of this crusade, Peter the Hermit would have one of the men in the front lines come running back to tell him; Mr. Peter the Hermit, *** Now cut that out, it’s just Peter. OK? OK, Mr. Peter, we need a new scout, Sir Tiny the Impalier ah, sort of cut off his Tiny namesake getting off of his horse. Day after day this went on. Until Peter the Hermit said that he couldn’t take any more of this ill fated crusade. By the time they got to the Holy Lands, this crusade had 12 men and 2 camp followers left and that was sort of met with a laugh by the Muslims that just laid down and died of laughter. Anyway the totally disheartened Peter the Hermit, quit on day and went up to one of the local caves and just sat down and started writing songs. a few years later he had a few of his friends, mostly Lepers come up and practice singing. Then they went on tour and sang all over the known world. they called themselves Herman’s Hermit’s. Surprisingly enough, their first really bit hit was, “There’s a kind of a Hush all over the world,” and so ended the first unofficial crusade. It started in April on of 1096 and went until, October 1096. The one important event that helped with the second, first crusade was that everyone got Dysentery so they left a very odorous and huge brown trail as they marched towards the Holy Lands. This trail was used for the second, First Crusade to follow. That was better planed out, they had food and water and money and many more camp followers. And that’s my history of the first and sort of first again crusade.

But it is true that the men who make wars are the old men who want to increase their fortunes and lands. That isn’t quite true of Trump though. He wants to go to war so that he can have our military use up many Tomahawk missiles and ammunition fighting the enemy. He has a lot of stock in some of the munitions companies and that will help his stock go sky high. But that’s another story.

Yes, it’s true that while I was fighting the Vietcong, on the rivers in the Mekong Delta, during TET OFFENSIVE of 1968–1969, Donald Trump was fighting on the home front. Fighting for his right to stay out of the Military. The colleges were forced to give him letter of his attendance and enrollment. He got this 4 times, but he had to fight for them. He almost lost if when he had to take a semester off because of grades, that was in November, 22, 1966. He managed to re-enroll back into college for the next year, so on 12, 13, 66 he got another 2S. Then on 7/9/1968 he had to take a draft Physical because he had graduated from college. The Doctor wrote that Donald Trump had bone spurs on both feet and was not ineligible for the Military unless it came to complete annihilation. This gave Donald Trump a 1Y. Then on 2/1/1972 he received a 4F, unfit for the Military. Of course there are those who are stating that when the Draft Doctor gave Trump his Physical and found that he had bone spurs, and found him as not fit for the military, it was always questioned how the Doctor managed to pay off his Student Loan and take a month long trip to Monti Carlo? They say that he had to have gotten his money illegally? But I just say, sour cabbage.

Robert Cormack, your article was a good one. I may have gotten carried away but, well, my facts may not be all together correct and if not, remember that I am just telling the alternative facts.

)

    Michael Evarts

    Written by