Shutdown FanFic: Infinite Shutdown by David Foster Wallace

Shutdown FanFic #11

The Year of David Vitter’s Frilly Adult-Sized Diaper

Though Senator David Vitter had long ago sought therapy to cure himself of his addiction to kinky homosexual sex in public places, surmising that he was perhaps luckier than any individual has a right to be to still count himself as a United States Senator, which is, without a doubt, one of the world’s most exclusive clubs(1) he began to feel the pang of his old addiction almost as a consequence of the power that surged within him as he played his role, however small, in the partial shutdown of the U.S. government.

Ironically (to Vitter)(2) the thrill of exercising such power on a nation of 319 million people(3) has conjured in the Senator’s mind an uncontrollable desire to have his power stripped away from him in some delightfully degrading manner. However, this desire was both metaphorical and transient. He had no intention, not even a private intention, of ever giving up his real power or status and so, especially in light of his very public sex in public sex scandal of years gone by, could trust no friend, no lover, no stranger and certainly no prostitute to help him live out his fantasy.(4)

So, the Senator stood alone in his office, long after his staff had gone home, with the lights dimmed but not out, wearing a pink bonnet, a large pink diaper with a yellow novelty diaper pin and nothing else from the waist down or from the waist up(5) but his prevalent, graying body hair.

He purposefully kept himself away from the office computer, knowing that the temptation to photograph himself and to perhaps transmit those photographs to some willing or unwilling audience, could be the end of him, but also knowing (thanks to his fetish counselor) that he could quite easily flush his entire life away just for the thrill of having his inner sissy baby seen and mocked. In a nod toward his desires, figuring that if he gave himself nothing he would certainly break and go to far, he did leave the office drapery slightly open, exposing himself potentially, but only to somebody who really wanted to look.

What the Senator did not know, however, was that certain Quebecois Separatists would have use for evidence of such behavior on the part of a Senator who should certainly be keeping it in his pants (without a diaper underneath said pants) and who should at the very least not flirt with exposure when exposure might lead to the ruin of something other than the super-absorbent cotton fabric that the Senator had shoved over his ass and between his legs.

(1) If you are an American your changes of also being a Senator right now are so small as to be non-meaningful when calculated on a Texas Instruments BAII Plus business calculator, standard issue equipment to the contemporary officer worker who is not a United States Senator.

(2) But not to his fetish-counselor.

(3) With only 100 Senators! Ibid 1.

(4) Said fantasy of having a working class American man, young and physically smaller than him slap him around a bit, tear the clothes from his body, tie a pacifier in his mouth and forcibly dress him in a pink, frilly diaper, all right in front of the Lincoln Memorial while a Boy Scout Troop walked by.

(5) Excepting the bonnet.