Step into my Library for a few recommendations
Personal Development & Relationship Resources-Top Picks
Personal Development Resources I recommend along business and growth topics and a short bit of info from me on each:
There are so many books and seminars and TED talks we could discuss. This is why you are on a journey of personal development. I feel strongly that you should read what’s germane to your life. If you’re having marriage issues, you should read about marriage stuff. If you are starting out in Team Beachbody as a coach or you have a customer about to start, “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy is a fantastic start. This is like anything else you do in life. The compound effect is always moving. The success or failure is found in how you feed it. Eat crappy food all the time and don’t get off the couch and you’ll find weight gain. Eat well and do P90X and you’ll find yourself in great shape over time. No one gains or loses 100 pounds in a day. it’s a journey. Same thing with relationships, marriage, business, everything takes time to build. The key question is what are you doing to make your situation better?
“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill This is the holy grail to the personal development world if you will. Andrew Carnegie challenged Napoleon Hill to go out and interview the 500 most successful people on earth and find out what makes them tick, what makes them different. It took him 25 years of consistent work to conduct these interviews and share time with these people. He discovered a couple extraordinary things: one is that he became wealthy in the process as you’re the sum of the five people you hang out with most. And two, he found that the 500 most successful people on earth have 13 things in common. Don’t you want to know what those are? I don’t care if you want to be the best physician or the best restauranteur or the best coach, don’t you want to channel what it is you’re passionate about through these 13 traits? Of course you do. Here’s a teaser; chapter 1 is called “Desire”.
John C. Maxwell wrote a book called “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently” This will help beyond what i’m teaching herein. He’s written 84 other books and is the top rated Leadership Expert by the two most discerning groups who rate such things. There are countless lessons you and I could learn from Maxwell. He’s like Yoda. I had read many of his books but until I met him and spent a weekend in a small private event with him and his key two people, did I realize the unquanitifiable knowledge he has!
Dale Carnegie wrote “How to Influence People and Make Friends” This is a fantastic book that anyone in sales should read. AND when you keep your authenticity about you, this book is even more effective. I feel that too many people take this “fake it til you make it” approach. That doesn’t work so well. We need to be enthusiastic about our life and what we are doing and that is not predicated on your current success level nor what you have in your bank account.
Peter Guber wrote “Tell To Win” One of the masters of story telling, Peter shares insights into some of his biggest failures, how facts tell and stories sell, and more! He’s a self made billionaire, was the Chairman/CEO of Sony Columbia Pictures, Mandalay Entertainment, and he owns more pro sports franchises than any other person on Earth. Including the LA Dodgers. He has an interview with Darren Hardy of Success Magazine that is brilliant.
Bob Beaudine “The Power of Who” This is about how you already know everyone you need to know in life to be wildly successful. The art of the referral.
The Heath Brothers (Chip & Dan) wrote “Switch” They talk in the first 50 pages about the vital importance of narrowing the path with people and cite amazing examples of what happens when people have too many choices. This is something you need to know.
“Start With Why” — Simon Sinek — Priceless info. I’ll leave it at that!
Relationships & Marriage
I can only imagine what my marriage would have been like for the first 14 years had I known these things. Don’t wait for your spouse to do these things or read these books, just lead by example. You can only change you. You control nothing but your perception of a thing and how you decide to show up to a situation. In this book list I mention how we co-create our situations.
“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman So often, couples go about their relationship with a pattern or a predisposition for how they approach things and situations. When you realize what your love language is and what your significant other’s love language is, then to set forth being intentional in doing their love language consistently, you’ll find more peace and love in your relationship that you can possibly imagine. Don’t do the right one and you’ll find resentment from both sides of the table.
Andrew Marshall “I love you but i’m not in love with you” This book could easily be retitled the 6 seasons of marriage. As ominous as the title is, the six seasons he talks about are so spot on it’s erie. Andrew is one of the top marriage counselors in the UK.
Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks-”Conscious Loving” This is a fantastic book that shows how we each have a 100% responsibility in relationship. It’s a 100/100 scenario, not 50/50. If i’m doing more than my share in relationship over time, i’m taking her responsibility too. That might look like 180/20. The problem if i’m doing that is i’m enabling her. By only taking my 100%, if forces the discussion to air things out and achieve balance. Of course we all get busy with life and we both pick up for each other in healthy ways. My aforementioned example is more based on behavioral and longer term patterns. You’ll learn that you have co-created your situation. You could be living with a person who’s had extraordinary childhood damage that’s unresolved and that’s still 100/100 which won’t make sense at first or even for a while, but it will over time. When you find someone and you fall in love, that person either has attributes similar or opposite to what you grew up with for parents (caregivers). Your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious and you’re literally falling in love and feel safe because you’re there to help each other complete whatever you didn’t get in childhood. You may be triggered by something your spouse does, but a trigger is about you, not them. They are triggering something from your past and most likely childhood. Please know that this is an amazing journey and one that will help you get to a deeper place of love than you have ever known possible!
Harville Hendrix “Getting the Love you Want” This is one of the best marriage books out! I’ll leave it at that! Ironically, i’ve talked about two Hendrix/Hendricks who are both famous PhD counselors from NY, and both of their spouses are PhD counselors. They are renowned for their work!
Byron Katie “I need your love, is that true?” I mention this book for a handful of reasons. If anyone is dealing with a very traumatic life experience from a (brutal) death in the family, rape, incest, etc, this is one of the foremost authorities on helping people work through their experiences and onto a fulfilling life. I didn’t deal with things like that in life, but we’ve all gone through tough situations and what I learned from her 4 question and turn around process is life changing to say the least! Picture that we all wrap a story around the reality. Imagine that this is like cotton candy. The stick in the middle is the reality, and the spun sugar cloud around the stuck is the story. The story is almost always worse than the reality of the situation. That’s us running with stories in our head.
***I’m a HUGE advocate of counseling. A counselor is simply a coach who’s trained in that particular area. Shop for one you both like or who you resonate with and invest in it. it’s a journey and does take time. Patience was never my strong suit but with what i’ve learned from counseling, i’m vastly more patient than i’ve ever been as well as so much more at peace.
There are so many great books and great seminars. The key to this whole thing is that you are investing in you. There is no greater ROI in life than that. I’ve been to many seminars and learned something at each one. I don’t care if you’re able to get on stage and teach that course, i’ll guarantee you can learn at least one key take away from that event. I’m always looking at what I can learn.
Remember, sometimes you win, sometimes you learn!
PS, if this put you to sleep and you need to be revived, here’s the sexiest CPR training available (this is meant to be funny. I’m a lighthearted person, so you can expect that I can give you a huge business talk and shift gears to movie quotes from Anchorman or Caddyshack in the next breath! “Lighten up Francis!”
