On dating men with “potential”

Real Man: “polished, accomplished, have started companies and movements, men who have built fascinating and successful careers for themselves, who have money in the bank, boats in the harbor, dreams they actually attain.”

I wonder if this means by extension the writer was not a “real woman” for 1/4 century of her adult life. I wonder if by extension, she is saying that for the 25 years she patting herself on the back and to herself “There, there, you have potential. You could be great.” that she was not worthy of men. I wonder if she is warning MEN to avoid women who were like here and only recently discovered that potential is different than accomplishment. I wonder if she FAILS at writing and discovers that her potential is limited, she should be disqualified from dating men.

How can anyone with a straight face say “men should not have potential they should be working, fulfilling their potential, actively using it” and in the next say “ I spent a quarter of a century ignoring my potential.” Only out of the mouth of a woman could this myopic double-standard come from.

It fits squarely however into how women view the right to work as just that: a right. The men in their lives have not been relieved of the responsibility. So naturally the author sees nothing “ironic” about the fact she felt she wasted time on men who only had “potential” when that is all she had and in implying that THOSE men were not “real men”.

The article reeks of sexism and would have been far more effective if, instead of making it about what men “should” be or do or have in order to be considered “real men” or worthy of the girls/women the author is trying to warn off men who are not “real”, the author had discussed a truth which applies to both genders and to any relationships we choose to have; choose to be around people who are/do/have the things we strive to be/do/have. It can be easier to choose to be around people who don’t challenge us when we don’t/can’t challenge ourselves but when we decide it is time to do so, it is critical to surround ourselves with those people. Sometimes you have to wait until that feels right. The author did. Kudos for her. But the men in her life past and present and future who didn’t make that choice are still “real men” and if she is going to hold men up to those standards should hold herself up to them and not be surprised when some man finds her potential “lacking” and rejects her for it.

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