Back in 2016, I was asked to give a talk on Coaching and Mentoring to the Northwest Women’s Law Enforcement Network in Seattle. I was extremely impressed by the calibre of the officers I met that day. These were dedicated, intelligent women with integrity and grit doing tough work. I have been thinking about them over the last weeks as I have watched the protests unfold around the country.
I have no background in law enforcement and, as this was going to be my first talk in front of an audience of hundreds of women with loaded guns, I figured I’d better do some research to prepare. …
Fighting the one you love —
Don’t.
Really.
I know. Even the therapists and relationship experts I most admire, tell us how important it is to fight (rather than suppress) — but to learn to do it in a healthy way.
I agree about the not suppressing part, but I don’t agree about the fighting.
Words matter. They shape the way we think about things. They give us our framework for choices and perception.
Here are some of the primary definitions for the word fight:
1. take part in a violent struggle involving the exchange of physical blows or the use of…
I Love You
In regard to a man she’d been seeing intimately for months, a friend recently asked, “When is it OK to say I love you?”
Say I love you, I suggested, when that is what you are feeling, and you feel like saying it. Love is a gift and sharing it with someone is beautiful. Be generous.
But what if he doesn’t say it back?
Gifts come without strings. Do not give a gift with an expectation that you’ll get one back. If what the other person is feeling, too, in that moment, happens to be, “I love you,” and they want to say it to you, too, in that moment, wonderful! But, if not, that should be OK, too. They may not share the exact feeling, they may have a different interpretation of what love means, they may even feel it, but be afraid to say it. …
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