Yikes! I am an Addiction Speciialist and see many red flags here. Research shows that the earlier a person consumes drugs and or alcohol the more susceptible they are to having an issue with addiction. You shared that you binge drink, drink to get drunk, experienced a black out, and break the law to be able to drink-these are all criteria that meet the DSM-5 diagnosis for a substance use disorder. Addiction is a disease that does not get better with time it only gets worse and can be fatal if left untreated. Someone mentioned above that withdrawal from alcohol is fatal and this is true for both alcohol and Benzodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, Clonopine, etc.) I work at a hospital where we treat/detox patients with addictions as well as provide education, group process, and referrals to residential and outpatient treatment. The majority of my patients have suffered immense loss and negatively affected every aspect of their lives. My professional recommendation is that you seek out help through a referral from your doctor for a drug and alcohol assessment and or attend sober support meetings such as AA or Smart recovery. In my view your essay supported the government to maintain 21 years as the legal drinking age.