PinnedMember-only7 Men I Made Out With When I Opened My MarriageDating apps were like a drug for me. Until they weren’t. — I asked for an open marriage as a last-ditch effort to save my dying relationship. I had not felt truly desired by my partner for over a decade. But with two kids under 5, this was the only solution I could think of to avoid divorce. When my husband reluctantly…Relationships7 min readRelationships7 min read
Published in Age of Empathy·PinnedMember-onlySometimes I Feel Sad About The Vibrator My Tinder Date Bought That We Never UsedNothing says “untapped potential” like a sex toy that remains unopened. — When I opened my marriage briefly in 2020 and started dating other men, I met quite a cast of characters with the help of Tinder and Bumble. But this is not an article about those men, and it’s not an article about my open marriage. This is an article about…Nonfiction5 min readNonfiction5 min read
Published in The Memoirist·PinnedMember-onlyThe Legacy We Leave: What We Hear When the Cellos Play in “Strawberry Fields Forever”Replaying our lives through music — My rusty 2005 Toyota Corolla has an old CD deck. Every time I drive my beat-up car, I dig up my CD collection like a time capsule. Yesterday’s selection was The Beatles 1967–1970 collection, or the “Blue Album.” …Music7 min readMusic7 min read
Published in Breast Stories·PinnedMember-onlyI Get Felt Up Every Night of The WeekJust call me a lucky lady — For most of my life, I thought very little about my breasts. They are neither large nor small. They are perfectly average. They don’t bother me when I run, nor do they cause backaches. …Parenting3 min readParenting3 min read
Published in About Me Stories·PinnedMember-onlyAbout Me — Michelle A. CmarikMy name is not Michelle A. Cmarik — My name is not Michelle A. Cmarik. There are pieces of my identity in this name. My grandmother’s maiden name was Cmarik, and her initials were “MAC.” Everyone called her Mac. When I started writing here, I chose this name because I wanted to channel my grandmother’s subtle boldness. I…About Me10 min readAbout Me10 min read
Published in The Memoirist·20 hours agoMember-onlyThe Worst Breakup of my Life was Penned in Purple MarkerHer words were an early introduction to grief — I can still remember that crumpled note. It was a wide ruled page ripped out of a composition notebook. It was written in the ink of a purple Crayola marker with the slanted lettering of a 14-year-old girl. My mom reluctantly handed it to me with a look of worry…Memoir6 min readMemoir6 min read
Published in Age of Empathy·5 days agoMember-onlyWhat I Wish I Had Known Before Having a Second ChildIt’s time to end the stigma of the only-child lifestyle — This morning at 6:30 AM, my children physically fought over who got to clean up the Magna-Tiles before we left for school. My youngest screamed on the sidewalk because his brother got to the car before he did. By the time I walked to the other side of the car…Parenting5 min readParenting5 min read
Published in MuddyUm·Mar 16Member-onlyA Letter of Apology From the Guy With the Children of the Corn Display at the Movie Theater Last WeekendOK fine — maybe I did cause your children’s nightmares — To the Hypersensitive Helicopter Mom who shared some choice words in the “How are We Doing?” survey last weekend: I’ll just come out and say it. I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry I placed that vintage Children of the Corn display right at the entrance to the Sunday matinee for kids. …Satire4 min readSatire4 min read
Published in The Narrative Arc·Mar 15Member-onlyDuring the Pandemic of 2020, I Visited My Lover While My Family Slept at HomeI sought connection while everything else was falling apart — I had no way of knowing that the winter of 2020 would bring a global pandemic. None of us did. But I also didn’t expect to be spending those months sleeping with a man who wasn’t my husband, in a one-bedroom apartment in Virginia, while my sons and husband slept…Pandemic Stories7 min readPandemic Stories7 min read
Mar 11Member-onlyReflections on a State of Total Burnout on a Saturday AfternoonWhen even our beloved creative pursuits feel laborious — Plenty of us are inspired to write when life gets hard. I have piles of journals from my adolescence to prove that sadness often begets creativity. Yet for the past few weeks, I’ve experienced a new full-body sensation that has completely stopped all of my creative outlets. I’ve been nearly…Mental Health3 min readMental Health3 min read
