Practice Makes Normal
Since having a baby three months ago, my desire to write has faded.
What’s annoying is that my idea generator is still very active. My desk was covered in post-it notes of things I wanted to write about (this was a habit I developed when I used to blog multiple times a day, and it always worked for me).
Yesterday, however, I was cleaning my office and I decided to throw away all of the post-its. I was sick of looking at them and constantly feeling that twinge of “ugh, I need to write this!” but having no motivation to do so.
It used to be that an idea would eat me alive if I didn’t write it out immediately. But these days, it’s like I have this spark of inspiration… and then is fizzles out as quickly as it came. I have no energy to write it out.
And then, by the time I feel like writing, I’ve forgotten what the post-it note even means, or why in the hell I wanted to write about that thing at all.
Maybe it’s sleep deprivation… but I don’t know. I feel pretty well rested most days, and I believe that’s saying a lot for having a 3-month old.
It could also be that I just spend a lot of my creative energy making things like this…
OR… it could just be that after a 3-month maternity leave, I’m simply out of practice.
And so, instead of lamenting my newfound writers block, if that’s even what you call it, I will instead begin to practice.
Practice will likely bring me back to what used to be my normal: ideas occurring to me like fires. Ideas that need to be written and that I will do anything to make time for.
“The baby needs me” is a great excuse… but I know that when I NEED to write, I will work it out. I will have someone sit with her. I will pump breast milk while I type. I will write on my phone while she’s asleep on my lap.
I will practice.
And I will post something here every day for the foreseeable future. I will post here every day until I feel like I’m back to normal.