Having Trump nightmares? Have a Wet Dream Instead

Let me preface this by saying I’m not a sexual deviant. Got your attention? Ok then let’s do this.
 
 In February 2017 the newest installment of the mommy porn series Fifty Shades of Grey will hit theaters and the national conversation about abusing women will begin anew. Fifty Shades Darker will spur into action those who believe the film is a license to abuse women. Writers and wanna-be writers all over the world will suffer the righteous anger they feel is theirs to own. They’ll become activists, damn it! They’ll dust off their old comments, blogs, opinions and gripes about the Fifty Shades phenomenon and lift us out of the Trump nightmare, even if only for a while (Americans have a very short attention span). And we’ll welcome the distraction. This is particularly true for Trump who, no doubt, will be tweeting his views on how world domination begins with the domination of women. Not Ivanka, of course, Trump seems to believe she is not simply a woman, but a species onto herself and therefore exempt from the Trump misogynistic world view.

A view his followers will be happy to swallow. (See what I did there?)

Want proof? During the 2016 Republican National Convention, the number of people watching pornography videos surpassed the number of people who watched the Cavaliers win the NBA Championship.

Yup. Turns out, Trump is good for the porn business. A record setting 873,294 videos were viewed in The Buckeye State after Trump’s name was put into pornographic search engines. Who knew the party of Lincoln drips with erotica?

I read the entire three-book Fifty Shades series out of professional curiosity. As a writer, I am always snooping around to see what makes readers respond. I saw the first movie too. So I feel a little more than entitled to discuss this subject than those who’ve done neither. I know critics called the writing “mediocre,” and it’s a view I share. Yet the books still became national bestsellers.
 
 The subject matter is controversial and triggers a knee-jerk reaction. Those who rabidly jump to the defense of women are, in actuality saying, women can’t defend themselves. Commentators who say this form of sexual expression is an example of abuse against the women with whom these men engage are really saying the women are not intelligent/aware/articulate/educated/ enough to make their own decisions. Not all women are vulnerable victims ripe for predators. Couples who agree to engage in S/M, bondage or dominance/submission do so because they are creative fuckers, not because they don’t like each other. There is a very vast area between men who abuse vulnerable women and men who respond to a woman asking for sex that HURTS SO GOOD. And before you assume I don’t know Jack shit about this subject, know that I was a victim of domestic abuse for six years; I’ve worked with domestic violence victims for over twenty years. Jack S. and I are old friends.
 
 I’ll use writing as an example to make my point. Every educated person in the entire free world agrees that a period should go here. We further agree, if we are to agree at all, that commas should be used there. And everyone knows you never begin a sentence with “and” or “but.” But writers can and do break the rules all the time. ee cummings, William Faulkner, Jose Saramago and a dozen other Nobel-prize winning authors never used punctuation rules the rest of us have agreed to follow, yet we accept their idiosyncratic talent. Whatever. Another point: none of us admit to watching porn but someone is, it’s a billion-dollar industry. Sex-toy stores thrive on the street and Internet. Or so I’m told.
 
The scene in the movie that has everyone going all batshit crazy is the one in which Christian showers Anastasia with all kinds of muskrat love using a belt. It was a hard scene to watch, but it wasn’t as hard to watch as the beating Django took. It’s not the same at all. I have no doubt that, had Anastasia told Christian to stop, he would have. Indeed, Christian tells Anastasia to use a “safe” word if she wanted him to stop. I think it was yellow or red; but it wasn’t simply “stop.” Why did she need a safe word? Why not just say “stop?” Because while in the throes of ecstasy she may say “stop” and then, when he does, look at him with wide-eyed bewilderment and ask “why did you stop?” But Anastasia didn’t use the safe word. She said she forgot she had it. She forgot. She. Had. It. 
 
 The other point people seem to be hung up on is the fact that Christian is a gazillionaire. They whine that if he had been an indigent, so-so looking guy instead of a drop-dead gorgeous rich guy straight out of central casting, none of this would be happening. I think that’s an affront to women and paints all women with a broad brush. Shallowness is gender neutral. If sexual tension rises to a breaking point between, or even among, adults, the fact that he drives a Kia and not a Ferrari wouldn’t even come into play. Status doesn’t count when orgasms are there for the taking.
 
 When did we ALL decide that “man on top get it over with quick” was the only way to fuck? I don’t think I got to vote. I’m a sexual being like everyone else and I’m not divulging secrets here. I don’t expect you, gentle reader, to jump to any conclusions and look at me knowingly the next time you see me. So please don’t whack me with a ping pong paddle because you think I like it. I’m simply saying that if you feel the need to defend women, please make sure they need defending.

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