Balancing a Full Time Job, Being in a Coding Bootcamp and Maintaining a Relationship, Physical Health and Sanity
The last few months of my life have felt like such a roller coaster. It’s really exciting because I truly love everything I do, but I feel like I’ve been running a marathon every day with hardly any downtime. However, I’ve learned to manage/balance everything by diligently sticking to a structure, and I fortunately have a great partner, Jaco, who pushes me to build my strength instead of succumbing to my weaknesses. The following is a summary of the structure I operate on to get as much as I can done in a day while maintaining sanity.
Here’s what a really busy day looks like for me:
5:00am: Alarm goes off if I haven’t woken up already and I habitually make my way out of bed and head to the gym. Some days I’m more tired than others, but I know if I slack in one thing that is important to me, I’ll start slacking in everything else and I just absolutely refuse to become a slacker.
5:30am: Squats, deadlifts, pull-ups, tricep dips, cardio, deep stretching/breathing. I try to stick to compound exercises because it’s a great shortcut to working out multiple body parts, and I’m not really trying to be super cut or anything, I just want to maintain muscle. Stretching is also super important in circulating my energy and making me feel physically and mentally flexible all the time because there’s nothing worse than feeling stiff and rigid both physically and mentally.
6:30am: Get ready for work. Talk to Jaco about his goals and aspirations for the day which helps me think through my own goals and aspirations. Maybe make breakfast if we have time.
7:30am: We hop on our motorcycles and head to work because I refuse to drive…405 traffic is ridiculous and I absolutely refuse to sit in it. Plus riding is really, really fun and we have a great time maneuvering through traffic together —it’s really great bonding time and keeps our relationship really fun.
8:00am : I’m usually early for work. Settling in, I usually make coffee, tea or a green smoothie. I make a to-do list the day before so that I just come in and knock out everything I need to do right away so that in the afternoon I’m on cruise control. This works really well for me because it keeps me looking like a superstar at work even though 50% of the time I’m a zombie inside from having class the night before. I just never want my personal life/extracurricular activities to interfere with my reputation at work.
1:00pm: During my lunch break, I’ll either read one of the ten books I’ve started but haven’t finished, or I’ll watch youtube tutorials on coding topics I need more knowledge in. Sometimes I’ll squeeze in a nap if I really need it, or Jaco will come visit me or I’ll hop on my bike and ride to visit him for a little bit. I use this time to recharge and give myself the self-care I need to keep chugging along.
2:00pm: The last three hours of work are for wrapping up unfinished tasks and organization for the next day.
4:45pm: On nights I have class, I will usually stay at work and watch more programming videos or read articles that motivate me to keep working hard. On nights I don’t have class, I‘ll still do the same but go to a coffee shop and meet up with Jaco or another friend to make me feel like I’m still being a productive but social creature. Plus, like the gym, it’s important to continue coding every day to build the habit…but even if I don’t feel like coding, I’ll at least try to read after work so I’m constantly learning and never feeling like I wasted the day.
6:30pm: This is probably the most challenging part of my day. Staying alert and conscious enough to retain and comprehend complex information about computer language/applications/tools. I usually have to drink tea or a little bit of coffee to not be a zombie at this point because if I could, I would go to bed at 8pm. But since I can’t, I just have to find ways to keep myself awake. I drink a lot of water so I have to get up and walk to the bathroom a lot and that usually helps. Riding my motorcycle to class also helps give me a slight boost in adrenaline — but besides that, it also makes life still feel really fun. I love riding everywhere, even in below 50 degree weather.
9:30pm: I finally get to go home, but Jaco will usually meet me after class to ride home with me. We have bluetooth speakers in our helmets that allow us to talk while we ride which makes riding 10x more fun.
10:00pm: Finally get home and Jaco will usually ask me what he can make me for dinner and we’ll talk, cook and eat together. I’m really lucky to have such a thoughtful partner who helps pick up the slack when I’m too tired. Before he came into my life, I would just go straight to bed. So I feel very lucky to have someone care for me and keep my healthy.
11:00pm: I’ll spend more time talking to Jaco about his day…if I’m lucky, I’ll get to read for a little bit before bed, but sometimes we just watch a movie or something so I can stop my brain from thinking so much.
So that’s what my weekdays are like. Weekends tend to have a little more free time where I can sleep a little more, spend a little more time in the gym to make up for days I might have had to cut my sessions early, and spend more time riding for fun instead of just commuting with my motorcycle. Sometimes Jaco and I will go to a coffee shop to read/code and I’ll call that a date, but lately we’ve been utilizing the Santa Monica/Los Angeles Public Library which is such a great and underutilized resource. Instead of buying books, I’m borrowing them because I don’t have anymore space for new books and it’s a much better study spot if you want to save money and have better focus.
Sometimes I’ll allow myself to do nothing for a little bit though — which I think is just as important as being productive. I used to be really hard on myself about that and perceive myself as being lazy, but I’ve learned that life is most meaningful and fulfilling when lived in balance so I don’t want to live a miserable life just forcing myself to work all the time. Self-care is really important and sometimes recharging just looks like doing nothing and that’s okay.
The Challenges I Face
While I have this schedule down pretty well, it can feel monotonous and I often miss socializing and connecting with others. I’m a pretty restless person who loves to stay active, but the last few months I’ve had to really hone in on a few major priorities to have better balance and focus.
In the past, I’ve had a tendency to overextend myself and then all areas of my life are given less than 100%. By keeping focus on a few things that really matter and reminding myself this is temporary, I’m able to give 110% in those areas which in turn keeps me feeling 110% every day and that keeps me ready to tackle on any challenges/obstacles I face. I had to learn the hard way if you give 75% into everything you do, you will feel 75% positive about yourself.
Now speaking of feeling positive, that’s a whole other battle I’m constantly facing. I’m just gonna be real and say that: I feel dumb — a lot. Most of the time I can laugh it off though. I attribute those moments to brain glitches from being tired. Although I hold a degree from UCLA, I still go through bouts of feeling incompetent. Especially when it comes to coding…it’s tough and there’s a lot to learn, but I just remind myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day…and a black belt is just a white belt that never gave up. So if you too ever feel incapable/incompetent, that’s okay, just remember that what is most important is that YOU NEVER GIVE UP. On days I feel like I’m hitting wall after wall with my learning, I have to remind myself that the solutions will come, I just need to take a step back and try again later — and there has never been a time that hasn’t worked. Being kind to myself in that regard is definitely a weak point for me, but I just try to keep my focus on what I can do to make the situation better rather than focus on what I’m doing wrong.
But speaking of what I’m doing wrong…another challenge I face is trying to waste less time. I often ask myself how can I save more time and be even more efficient or more productive? Motorcycling is one way to save time, I also stopped utilizing social media but I’ll give myself one or two days out of the week to have it on my phone otherwise it’s deleted. I also stopped wasting time putting on makeup and I even bought a bunch of similar long sleeve black shirts (my favorite) so that I can waste less time deciding what to wear. I used to care about how I looked, I mean, I still do and will always make myself presentable, but in the end, I decided I want to be remembered for what’s inside of my mind rather than what I look like. I ultimately learned that by cutting out small things like this that are irrelevant, I make more time for more important things like being early everywhere I go, having more time to workout, spend time with my loved ones and build really cool web applications.
The Current State of My Life
As of right now, I’m going to be receiving a raise at work pretty soon, I’m averaging an A+ on my coding projects, I’d say I’m in pretty good physical shape because I feel great about my body and it manages to get me through long days without breaking down. My stress levels are pretty low which has to do with how I organize my time and allow myself to perceive things (optimistically)…and I still get a huge dose of butterflies in my stomach whenever I see Jaco because we find small ways to make quality time for each other. Things are going really well, but I’ve had to sacrifice a lot day by day as time has passed in attempt to simplify my life more and more. I have to constantly pinpoint at the start of each day what matters most to me in the long run, and attack the day from that standpoint making time for all of those things and cutting out the things that don’t matter. But in doing that, I go to bed every night feeling like I’m living the most meaningful life possible — because I got to do everything I really cared about doing.
I have a long way to go in terms of where I really want to be — especially with the goal of landing a web developer job, becoming a mother at some point and all these other pipe dreams…but by simplifying my life to a few priorities a day and recognizing life moves in changing seasons, I feel very optimistic that there’s nothing I won’t be able to achieve.
Hopefully this helps to inspire you to go out there and make all your dreams come true because it is possible if you just figure out what you want, make a plan and stick to it diligently — no matter how mundane it might feel.
“Superlative performance is really a confluence of dozens of small skills or activities, each one learned or stumbled upon, which have been carefully drilled into habit and then are fitted together in a synthesized whole. There is nothing extraordinary or superhuman in any one of those actions; only the fact that they are done consistently and correctly, and all together, produce excellence.”
— Daniel Chambliss
