DAMN. I THOUGHT I WANTED TO WRITE THIS MEMOIR but..

Michelle Monet
Sep 5, 2018 · 3 min read

It’s sure a painful process. UGH. UGH. UGH!


I talked to my friend Nancy on the phone today. I told her how much pain this Memoir was still bringing up in me.

She suggested, ‘Maybe you should write about your PROCESS of writing the Memoir. It might help others to see the struggle, pain and whole process of it’.

Yea. Yea. Ok That makes sense. I’ll do that.


from my journal

9/1/2018

Today I woke up feeling shaky about this whole MEMOIR thing…

Will I be able to concentrate and focus on this book project. It seems so overwhelming!?

Will I be disciplined enough to hang in there with this Memoir and all the pain it is bringing up in me?

Will I really be able to unravel and piece together my life, the way I envision it?

Will I have the BRAVERY it takes to look at some of the hard stuff? (to open those old cans of worms and relive the pain that I know I must do soon for the upcoming chapters — including my ex husband?? ICK!?!! YUCK!!)

Reliving this shit does NOT sound fun. It doesn’t even sound doable sometimes, (after the other day when I panicked like a crazy woman just opening the file with his crap in it!)

BUT — then there’s this other calm knowing voice inside of me that just knows, KNOWS that I love this story. It’s a damn great story. It’s my story. I survived this shit and I so want to tell this story. Dammit!

(I even wrote 5 other books in the meantime, because I wanted to keep writing and publishing, and becoming a better writer, even though I KNEW that this Memoir was what I wanted to return to eventually).

This whole memoir feels like a huge life calling to me. I don’t want to disappoint my old lady self, when I’m 80 or 90 and I look back with disappointment because I didn’t do it — -because I let fear grip me, or doubt dissuade me. No. No. I MUST DO IT. It feels like the thing I was meant to do.


I do love everything about writing …from the feeling of the flow of pen to paper, the putting words together, the telling of my truths in my own way, revealing stuff honestly, being brave and vulnerable, the storytelling part, and, oh and the sheer joy of expression. I do want to add poetry and journal entries to this book. It will bring it to life even more. I know it will be awesome. I love poetry too. The rhyming of words, the connections, the way they feel on the tongue. All of it. I love it.

So I love it and I hate it. Yep. Both are true. I have a love/hate experience with writing.

Even though it feels like shit sometimes, I know I will continue to write. I will hold onto the belief that wherever it leads me is fine.

I will just follow it like a road that you find on a hike but you aren’t sure where it ends up. You just take it. This might lead to more than one memoir/s, short stories, poetry, articles...self healing. All of the above? Who knows?

My only goal is to write every day.

Thats it. Keep my pen moving.


Michelle Monet

Written by

Musician. Author. Poet. Cat Mama. Seeker. Curious Creator. Currently writing showbiz memoir and Broadway style Musical. contact: michelle@michellemonet.com

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