o, while attempting what is left of a fluid close, I am even more assured that individual responses to grief, to coping, to our rigid requirements of what must be done, are all just that, solely individual.

A while back here on medium, I was part of a conversation that was started off by a very personal, honest and heartfelt piece by Lisa Beth Miller after the loss of her mother; about grieving and paying tribute being an individual choice of expression.

alto I couldn’t agree more with what you’ve written here.

I also know that as a parent, I don’t need my children to do or say or act in any prescribed way when I die. How they choose to grieve or to say goodbye will be exactly how they have lived as a son/daughter; in their own unique ways. The ways I love about them.

I already know how much they love me and I have made sure that they already know how much I love them and how damn proud I am of them and what an honour and privilege it has been to be their parent.

The integrity, depth of feeling, thought and love that shine through in your words and your choices in life, tell me that your parents felt the same about you and that your father knew how much you loved him and could never be disappointed, only proud, by you paying tribute in your own individual way.

I wish you the comfort and peace of knowing that.

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