Michelle Stone
3 min readSep 23, 2016

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Hello H . Allow me to extend my hand in peace.

I must admit I was taken aback by your reaction. I am sorry, more than sorry, that anything I have said or written has upset you. In fact I was about to reply to alto and you and Jewels in discussion and willingness to exchange thoughts.

No I do not think you are stupid; on the contrary we share too much mutual history here on medium for that…

No, I do not think I am talking about children or that I am their parent. I would never be that condescending or disrespectful to another human being. You have only to read my stories to know that…

I was referring to the analogy of a tense situation and using respect and neutral language to find common ground; in the same way that you used the analogy of grief.

What I did say was in the context of this …

and this…

It was in the context of focusing on the real issue — the fact that reasonable ordinary people are dying and hurting and are afraid of something so normal as walking down a street.

It was in the context of my country coming to the brink and the necessity of entering into real dialogue with people who desperately need to be brought to that table to listen; to really listen to the people who are hurting and dying and to understand and change.

To find common ground, to find solutions and not get bogged down in and focused on name calling and slogans which are side issues.

It was never about hurt feelings, and more about bringing opposing sides to the table and focusing on the real issue through honest discussion instead of getting hung up on the side issues.

I don’t think this means invalidation. I would be horrified to think it did.

I think Jewels said it far more eloquently than me.

I will always advocate for peace and dialogue over violence.

I understand that people have been talking for years and not being listened to. I know in my country, it took years of struggle and speaking out and violence and great personal sacrifices to bring about change.

It also took putting aside all the hate and anger and slogans and side issues and focus on reaching out and finding common ground to bring us back from the brink.

I do not have the answers H. I also do not live in the US, so perhaps I should not have entered this discussion at all. Please know, it was done with the best of intentions. I shall humbly bow out of it. I am just as upset as you.

Peace

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Michelle Stone

Words…. of all the hundreds, that swirl inside my head. I am forever haunted, by the ones I've left unsaid...