I had an uncle who would phone our house. When our children answered and asked who was calling. He would say in a booming voice. “THIS IS GOD CALLING!”

They would fall to their knees, listen carefully , answer in hushed tones, and then yell “Mom, God wants to speak to you!”

No matter how much I tried, I could not convince them it wasn’t God. Even, when I told them that I didn’t think God would choose the telephone to speak to us.

On the other hand, I could see just how damn impressed they were that God had their mother on speed dial. So I’m ashamed to say, I got a lot of mileage out of that one — it settled a lot of squabbles.

They are older now, and somehow I don’t think they’re going to buy it, when I tell them that God was on medium today, but hey, it’s worth a try.

The first lesson I learnt back when I was was little (yes, I’m sure it was when that Noah chap was around- ok I do have a thing for Russell Crowe movies-(Gladiator/Noah — tomeyhto, tomaahto) was that God loves everybody.

The second thing? We all are born with something called ‘free will’. Yes, that’s right — back when I was 5 years old. A catholic nun called Sister Emma, taught me about free will.

Yup, when Adam and Eve were in that garden? They had a choice. God gave them the free will to make it — he didn’t choose for them.

Now maybe, my interpretation is warped. To me, that means -we are all given the right to choose. So how I see it, is it doesn’t matter what I or anybody else thinks or says or does about it — it’s our life and our choice, our consequences.

The biggest problems in the world happen when people forget that, and they try to make our choices for us, or take away the freedom to use that God given free will.

Well anyway, that’s what Sister Emma taught me when I was 5. I met a lot of very wise people when I was 5. I’ve followed their advice and it’s worked for me.

Now could you answer one question that’s really bugging me since I saw that movie?

Are you Morgan Freeman?