Coach. Social Worker. Advocate. Activist. Reformer. Hater of the isms': Sizeism, Classism, Racism, and Sexism.

A Note on the Death of Ahmaud Arbery and Life as an African American in the MAGA Era

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Ahmaud Arbery was only two months younger than my daughter.

I let that thought sink in as I lay there trying to wrap my mind around everything that has unfolded over the past couple of months.

His mother, the anguish she must be feeling — unimaginable in my mind, and profoundly triggering to black women who share in her torment.

A traumatic reminder to black people everywhere; they may never achieve the human right to safety.

Then I’m forced to reconcile balancing my thoughts about his mother’s pain, with the relief that my daughter is still alive, smiling, laughing, growing, and healthy. …


Plus five ways you can mitigate the effects of social distancing if you are a fat person

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COVID-19 swept into our lives this past March. And, just as the events of 09/11 or the AIDS epidemic, our worlds have changed dramatically.

For some people, this sentiment is not true. Nevertheless, I would say for a vast majority of people, profound change rings true.

I don’t know about all of you reading, but I will be the first to say I was not effing prepared for any of this shit.

I don’t mean I wasn’t prepared financially or with necessities. For that, I’m blessed and good. No. That was not my issue.

I was not prepared for the effing shit show that was Friday the 13th. Not sure what it looked like where you all live, but in Buffalo, N.Y. …


The key is turning your problem into a question

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Are you quick to give up on your goals when problems arise? Do your problems control your life, causing you to become pessimistic and salty?

Would you like to be able to problem-solve fast so you can move forward in life with minimal interruption?

Would your quality of life improve if you had a surefire method for quickly cleaning up the shit when it hits the fan?

Would you like to become more proactive than reactive?was inspired by a question one of my previous clients, now friend recently asked me.

She said, “Michelle, how is it that you’re always smiling, even when your life is falling to damn pieces?” …


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“You should put some of that food back, you fat bitch. Your fat ass doesn’t need anything else to eat. Your taking food out of good, hard-working, thin people’s mouths. People who are going to need that food.”

The asshole uttering this vitriol continued on, saying, “I mean you’re so fucking fat your body could eat itself and you still won’t be dead after a year.” This was the point I stepped in and told him to shut the fuck up.

Let me set the scene for you a bit more. We’re in a supermarket amid COVID-19 A.K.A. coronavirus chaos, and this dude and his girl who was with him stood in the middle of a store and decided to berate some woman in line. …


Taking control of your self-care is a good look for your 2020 vision

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As a coach, I always like to have my clients start their self-care journey addressing their most pressing need, and they’re always surprised that their pressing need is not usually what they thought it would be or should be, this is why I like to follow a framework.

I am a framework gal, and the framework I use to assess my own self-care needs and the framework I have my clients use is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. And there are specific reasons why I choose this framework.

I am trained as a social worker, so I’m always using that lens to examine behavior. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, can be found in his book entitled A Theory of Human Motivation, where he discusses various categories of needs as motivation for people’s behavior. …


We can’t all be perfect body positivist

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What does it mean to be Prediabetic?

Well, for me, at the base of it all, prediabetes means, “Michelle, you have to make some changes in your life.” I have never been good at playing the victim. There are a lot of things that have led to me meeting the diagnostic criteria for prediabetes.

These things include historical trauma, adverse childhood experiences (ACE’s), and clinical depression, among other stuff I’m sure. Hey! On some level, all of us have our stuff. Our bag of goods I like to call it.

Nevertheless, there are a lot more things I could be doing as preventive measures against the development of type 2 diabetes, which is typically where prediabetes is headed. …


Welcome to the battle of language in body politics

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So, today’s discussion was prompted by some terribly harsh comments I’ve started to see on the posts of some body-positive influencers that I follow on Instagram and other social media platforms.

I’ll be honest I was taken aback by some of the things I read from people who are supposed to be against body shaming.

But it is interesting because the things that I’ve been reading on these posts were nothing but comments that essentially shamed some of these people who put their lives out there for us to see and possibly be inspired by.

This experience began to really make me frustrated with the positive body community. Now let me be clear — I’m still down with the body positive movement, along with the core body-positive framework developed by pioneer researchers such as Deb Burgard, Connie Sobczak, and Elizabeth Scott. …


There is nothing healthy about weight cycling nor does it make you well

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“Have you ever said, “I’m going on my diet Monday, so I have to eat everything I want this weekend.” Or have you gone on a diet only to become obsessed with food to the point you could not get it out of your head?

You’d think about the food you like, the food you don’t like the food you haven’t wanted in years, and all other kinds of food. Did those thoughts consume you to the point that you eventually feel off of your diet?

Have you ever said, “I’ll just have the candy bar.” Then, later on, that day said, “Well, I ate the candy bar I might as well just eat whatever the hell I want for today.” …


You Don’t Know Someone’s Story

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This article was prompted by some terribly harsh comments I’ve started to see on the posts of some body-positive influencers that I follow on Instagram and other social media platforms. And I’ll be honest I was taken aback by some of the things I read from people who are supposed to be against body shaming.

But it’s interesting because the things that I’ve been reading on these posts were nothing but comments that essentially shamed some of these influencers who are human beings putting their lives out there for people to see and possibly be inspired by. …


Using Technology as Part of Your Self-Care Plan

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When I created my most recent self-care action plan I decided to put the primary focus of the plan on my health and wellbeing. I create a self-care action plan every ninety days. Why? Because, self-care is fluid, not static. What worked as self-care in January may not work in May.

My self-care needs are everchanging based on what’s going on in my life at any given time. If I’m launching a new service in my business then I know during that three month period my self-care needs will be different from my non-launch periods. …

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