Jonah Hill Ends Racism for Kanye West
That’s not clickbait. He is a miracle worker.
According to Mr West himself, it was Jonah Hill’s stellar performance in 21 Jump Street that finally made him realise how wrong he was to harbour so much anger for all Jewish people when he only had a beef with one or two of them.
Jonah’s performance in this classic buddy cop comedy was so powerful it miraculously poured undiluted Hollywood magic directly into Ye’s soul.
His blinding talent immediately burned out all the hate, bigotry and wild conspiracy theories that have been plaguing West since October of last year.
So many people reached out to Kanye after his bipolar-fueled implosion - Jews and gentiles alike - but no one was able to get through to him. Not a one.
Even Lex Friedman, who had a rather rational and engaging exchange with Ye, failed to change his hateful ways.
Yeezy bounced from podcast to interview and left everyone shocked and speechless.
Even Alex Jones, a man of questionable morals, tried to prevent West from crossing a very fine line as it was happening live. He desperately gave him every chance to reframe his words.
But no one could help. He was determined to go “death con 3 on Jewish people”. He needed to declare his admiration for Hitler in front of everyone. That was the end of that.
Kanye was a lost cause. A lunatic and a racist.
A pariah, lost in his own mind, now oddly supported by white supremacists.
So much insanity, twisted religious views and confusing history lessons, and none of us could do anything to stop it.
The damage was done, his fortune lost, his fans perplexed and devastated.
A disastrous end to one of the world’s most polarising, yet widely loved, entertainers.
Kanye killed himself.
But wait…
Kanye may still rise!
Somehow, we all forgot about the universal power of comedy and the godlike performances of a Jewish acting giant, whose talents are even larger than his name, the one and only, Jonah Hill Feldstein.
God bless you and your lovable face, Jonah. Bless your adorable heart.
I’m sure you are as surprised as we are. We had no idea you, of all people, would be the one to bring some clarity and love back into our Yeezus’s tarnished soul.
You have blessed us all. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for your gift of comedic timing and your irresistible charms. We would be truly lost without your contributions to film.
Personally, I knew this wouldn’t be the end of Ye. There is something about the man that makes him indestructible. God has clearly blessed him.
His beats and auto-tuned voice are so finely entwined with his fans that they have no choice but to forgive him now.
How else will they get new bangers? How else will he do what he was born to do?
Yes, we must let him do what comes most natural to him. He must shock and entertain us all.
Thanks to Jonah Hill, we all have hope again. Sometimes, that is all we need.
We can once again drop Ye’s name into conversations and maybe show our support without the immediate surge of fear or guilt.
Now we can say, No, he’s not racist. Anger blinded him. He was wrong, and he admits that.
Jonah Hill from 21 Jump Street has shown him the light. He loves Jews again.
Yes, the same guy from Wolf of Wall Street. He saved Kanye.
YES, the guy from Super Bad.
We still have a long way to go, so let’s not get too excited.
I’m sure a public apology to all of Jewdom is needed.
Mainly because they are going to have a hard time letting the “I love Hitler” thing slide. Amongst other things.
Yea, it’s going to be a tough bridge to cross, but Kanye has at least left the wild jungle of his own insanity.
On the other side of that difficult bridge lies forgiveness and, hopefully, some much-needed hard work in the studio.
All he has to do is cross.
Jonah Hill, our miracle worker, will be there to walk beside him.
With Jonah’s help, Ye can beg for forgiveness from the Jewish people. And forgive him they will. Of this I'm sure.
Ye is Jewish after all.
It’s confusing, but that’s also what makes it so incredible to watch.
Who the hell knows what will happen next? Will it even make sense?
It’s so exciting!
It’s a good thing Kanye doesn’t read books. His daily insights and spiritual shifts would be too much to handle.
I can’t believe how we got here.
So many twists and turns. We witnessed a man turn into a Nazi and commit career suicide. Now we are on the razor's edge of forgiveness.
Whoo boy, what an extraordinarily unbelievable ride!
It was like watching a beloved Angel getting violently possessed by a demon who immediately starts wreaking havoc upon the earth.
We were all shocked and devastated. Nothing made sense. Everything spiralled out of control before our confused eyes. Chaos reigned, and our prayers were left unanswered.
But God, moving in his mysterious way, knew this terrible demon would be cast out by accidentally gazing upon the majesty of another Angel doing his divine work.
The natural untamed beauty of that Angel - the embodiment of creativity, laughter and love - was exactly what we needed to expel the bitter demon from the tortured soul of one misunderstood Kanye West.
Truly Epic stuff.
Now, if you are anything like me, you must be supercurious to find out what the exact scene in 21 Jump Street was to wake Ye up from his anti-Semitic nightmare.
I haven’t actually seen the movie, so try to imagine my enthusiasm right now. Not only is 21 Jump supposed to be “crude and hilarious”, but it also has the power to cure racism!
Who knew?
In closing, I would also like to share my love for Jonah Hill and thank him for inadvertently bringing us back the most intelligent, talented, virile, and gifted man to have walked this green earth.
Kanye West may be a freak of nature, but he is also a child of God. Like all of God’s children, he is flawed.
We are all capable of being corrupted by evil. It can happen to any of us at any time.
The real test is what we do after our failures.
Do we rise up from the shame and hurt we have caused?
Do we seek forgiveness and return to the light, to once again share our soul with a world that may no longer want us?
This is what Kanye West has to figure out now.
Jonah has helped him to take the first difficult step.
What happens next is up to him, God, and his medication.
