a beautiful, summer day

midge kelly
Aug 31, 2018 · 1 min read

It’s been so long since I felt anything. I’m living in the moment but I’m not enjoying it. I don’t know how to. I’m but a mass of transient energy, moving about from one place to the next…

Fuck it, big words and fancy phrases can’t make things better. Pain has many synonyms but it’s only the feeling of pain that holds any weight. There doesn’t need to be a word for pain to make it real. Words can make you feel a way but they can never stand in place of a feeling.

It should be raining. Maybe it should always be raining. But it shouldn’t be a thunderstorm. There shouldn’t be crashing lightning and rolling thunder. There’s no need for howling winds or trees swaying beneath its weight.

And it definitely shouldn’t be sunny. It shouldn’t be so beautiful right now. It doesn’t work. It’s all wrong.

It should be dark and cloudy. The rain should be a light drizzle, the type that pitters and patters softly off the cold ground, the type you stare out the window at…

You’re not supposed to be sad when it’s sunny and seventy-five. There’s hardly a cloud in the sky. The sun’s up there sitting pretty, shining it’s warm light all over the world.

That’s fucked up.

midge kelly

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