I nodded along while reading your article. All of this is happening to me, or has happened. I had shakes or twitches, a side effect of other medication I was taking for anxiety and depression. I was referred to a neurologist, and had a brain scan. It found nothing wrong there, but the doctor prescribed propranolol (usually for high blood pressure…my husband takes it for his). This medication is often prescribed to those with BPD. I’m going to sound like one of those commercials that annoy me, but if you are not, I would ask your doctor about it. It helped me with the tremors. I also am no longer on any of those other medications for the BPD. One of them was risperdal. That medication made me more anxious, among other side effects.
I also have the problem with losing words. It is common for those of us with this disorder. As long as I do find the word, I chalk it up to that. I have read articles, mostly from “bp magazine” (appropriately named) about this . The magazine website is www.bphope.com . You can find a lot of answers there, and also encouragement and suggestions for you, and your family and friends who support you.
I also isolate. I am an introvert by nature. However, as an only child, I learned to entertain myself. Growing up, I knew nothing of why I preferred my own company. I was teased in school, so I guess the other kids sensed I was different. Sadly, no teacher came to my defense. “Kids will be kids”, “you’re too sensitive”, “if they know they can get to you, they will keep doing it” (as if it was all my fault). Any of this sound familiar? It is all too common for people with BPD. All this cycling, mania to depression, I did not have a name for it. I was not diagnosed properly until I was almost 40. Some of you reading this probably can relate, but can you imagine living like this for that many years (decades, even), without knowing why. I even have PTSD from abusive relationships, not physical abuse, but verbal and psychological, where I was pretty messed up already. I still do not trust too easily. So, I isolate.
My birthday is next week. Next year, I will turn 50. However, the more I learn about BPD II, the more I realize, it is not, IN MY CASE, aging that is doing this to me. I have been like this all along. YMMV.
I wish you luck in your journey.
