Is it alright to out grow people??

Mignonne Dsouza
Aug 22, 2017 · 2 min read

That’s a question that has been looming over my head for quite some time now.

I have consistently read that, "if a person lasts for more than 7 years in your life, that relationship will last you a lifetime” . Ordinarly I would think so because it does sound like the most matter of fact thing.

On the contrary, over the last 3 years I have had the exact opposite happen. I have had all kinds of relationships fall apart, from new friends to old friends & a boyfriend who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
Is it the most selfish thing to do when you realise that this person is not adding to your life anymore?? That’s what I thought. It kept me hooked on to people who have been a part of my life only because they have been there for that long. And somewhere at the brink of what I can only assume is a quarter life crisis, now a welcomed one, it dawned on me that I can say no to anything that does not make me happy at the end of the day.It does not make me a selfish person , it just makes me a happy one.

Not everyone may share the same opinion because it’s a very personal choice. It’s just something that has worked for me. It is OKAY to say no to people that take away more than they add on. It is OKAY to stand up for what you believe in no matter how old fashioned or different or not politically correct it may sound. For it is more than OKAY to be true to yourself.

That is what changed for me in epically long journey that seemed to last forever. A big believer in karma, I questioned it all. I have always believed people are perpetually going through a phase in their life and it is essential to your personal growth. If you think u are the same person you were 10 years ago, Boy!! You have not lived. Because it means you have not been hurt, had your heart broken, betrayed, made mistakes you wished you never made or felt torn between the right thing to do & the socially acceptable thing to do. And I realise one way or another everyone learns these lessons in life, it’s just a matter of time. So I have a sense of self pride in knowing I have already done so.

The minute you start to do things for you (without being overtly selfish or brazen,of course) there is a sense of freedom and peace you experience that cannot be explained. And that is worth fighting for.

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Thinker | Food-hogger | Wannabe Traveller

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