“Compassion can be roughly defined in terms of a state of mind that is nonviolent, non-harming, and nonaggressive. It is a mental attitude based on the wish for others to be free of their suffering and is associated with a sense of commitment, responsibility, and respect towards others.”
During this season in the United States, we usually receive messages of peace, love, and charity. It’s different this year. Instead we hear of a war that has driven thousands from their home country and terrorism that has destroyed our peace of mind. Social media overflows with hate directed at people of a religion whose sacred book chronicles the virgin birth we’re celebrating. A popular presidential candidate is cheered when he utters vitriolic comments that fan the flames of contempt for those different from us. We read about governors who have closed their borders to victims of the very group they have declared to be an enemy of our country and hear that one of those governors has even threatened the non-profit groups who want to help those refugees. One has to stop and wonder, where is the compassion?
The dictionary defines compassion as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” Compassion goes beyond empathy, which is simply understanding another’s suffering. Compassionate people empathize, but they also want to do something to help. So, does compassion come to us naturally or must we be taught to be compassionate?
Evidence indicates we are innately driven not only to empathize with the suffering of others, but to strive to help end that suffering. Animals in research studies exhibit a spontaneous reaction to come to the aid of another if they appear to be in trouble or need assistance. Other research shows that the brain of a mother is attuned to feel compassion when she sees her child, and that the same part of the brain lights up when any of us sees harm being done to someone else.
Scientists and psychologists have discovered that displaying compassion makes us both happier and healthier. Research in neuroscience reveals that the pleasure centers of the brain are as active when we give as when we receive. Babies display physical reactions that show they experience as much pleasure from seeing someone else being helped as they do from being helped themselves. According to studies, we actually experience more happiness from giving than from receiving, no matter where we live and regardless of our socio-economic status.
A study indicates that those of us who consider ourselves to be very happy have lower levels of cellular inflammation, the root cause of cancer and other diseases, than those who experience high levels of stress. In addition, the happiness we enjoy as the result of our demonstrations of compassion benefit us further by protecting us from the adverse effects of stress.
Compassion will not only make us feel better both physically and mentally, it may be vital to the survival of our species. In The Descent of Man, Charles Darwin contended that “communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring.”
If compassion does all this for us, it must also affect us spiritually. So, what does religion tell us about compassion?
Proverbs 31:8–9 (NIV) states: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, or the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
The Dalai Lama said, “Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.”
“Compassion” is one of the most frequently occurring words in the Qur’an, which emphasizes the importance of compassion for the weak and forgotten in society: widows, orphans, slaves, the poor, the sick, and the exploited.
Showing compassion for every living thing is fundamental in the Hindu philosophy. Written in an ancient Hindu text: “Find and follow the good path and be ruled by compassion, for if the various ways are examined, compassion will prove the means to liberation.”
Practicing compassion will benefit our lives as well as those of others, so here are a few steps in practicing compassion:
- Listen. Hear with your heart as well as your ears. Keep the focus on the person speaking and don’t interrupt to suggest your own ideas.
- Empathize. Feel what the other person is feeling. Guard against being just sympathetic by understanding rather than just feeling sorry for the person.
- Relate. Think of experiences or situations in your life that are similar in nature, but try to keep the attention on the other person.
- Care. Physical contact will show that you have genuine concern. It may be just a gentle touch or holding their hands, but in some cases a hug might be appropriate.
- Encourage. Positive reinforcement might motivate or inspire the person to help themselves, but don’t always put the responsibility on them for their situation. In many cases, that is out of their control.
- Advocate. Stand up for the person and assist them in finding the assistance they need. Keep in mind that it’s not always possible to help someone solely by yourself.
Practice compassion every day in simple ways. You’ll be happier, healthier, and more in touch with your spirituality. In what ways have you been compassionate?
