“Gratitude is something of which none of us can give too much. For on the smiles, the thanks we give, our little gestures of appreciation, our neighbors build their philosophy of life.” ~ A. J. Cronin
This month, many of you are writing blog and social media posts on the subject of gratitude. I’ve read about how grateful you are for family, friends, fellowship, and faith. I’m also thankful for what has graced my life; however, this post concentrates on instilling the habit of expressing genuine gratitude each day for all the things, big and small, given to us in life.
Most of us were taught as children to say “thank you” when someone gives us a gift, and we probably heard the words “What do you say?” if we didn’t convey our thanks. But, even as I gave my own children and grandchildren that admonishment, I’ve wondered if we’re just taught to say the words, not truly feel the gratitude.
My grandson once asked me if he had to thank someone for a gift he didn’t like. I didn’t want to recite the old adage, “It’s the thought that counts,” although that was the gist of my lecture on gratitude. Looking back, however, I wonder if I should have expanded my conversation to discuss what actually constitutes a “gift.”
In this materialistic world, most children consider a gift to be something they’re given on special occasions or for rites of passage. They usually understand why they should be grateful for the video game they got for their birthday or the check they got for graduation, but they might not be aware of the many little gifts they receive every day. When a friend’s mother offers a ride home from school even though it’s out of the way for her, that’s a gift. When a teacher spends extra one-on-one time explaining a tough math problem, that’s also a gift. When a sibling shares the Halloween candy they’ve been saving for a month, that too is a gift.
As adults, we most likely express our gratitude to those who grant us big favors, but what about the everyday things people do for us? It may be a driver who motions you on at a 4-way stop you both reach at the same time, a woman in line at the drugstore who lets you go ahead of her when you have only a few items, or the elderly man in the next booth whose funny faces entertain your fussy child at a restaurant. These are the little things, but they make a difference in our lives. Maybe you were late for an appointment, and that courteous driver saved you a minute or two. Perhaps you were rushing home from work because your child was sick, and you stopped to get medicine. On the rare occasion of dining out with your small children, you may have been worried your crying baby was disturbing other diners.
What about those things we expect the people in our lives to do? I always assume my husband will mow the lawn, while it’s presumed I’ll cook dinner. Kids probably have certain chores they’re expected to do, and they in turn may expect their parents to drive them to school and help with their homework. These are the gifts we take for granted and may not even consider to be gifts at all.
We also expect certain things from people besides our friends and family. We expect the cashier at Target to efficiently check out our items, the customer service representative to help us with our problem, and the server to promptly bring us exactly what we ordered. These actions are probably not really gifts, but what if these people go the extra mile? I witnessed a Target cashier take the time to help my daughter get the most value from her combination of coupons, offers, and incentives. A customer service representative not only solved my problem, but also pointed out how I could save money by switching to another plan. At a local restaurant, our server not only got the orders all correct for our party of 13, but was extremely attentive despite having to deal with four different payments, a crying baby, and a 2-year-old who liked to dash around the table.
We usually have no trouble thanking people for the material gifts we receive, but you can go further by letting the giver know how much you appreciate their thinking of you. Even if the gift wasn’t specifically picked for you, like money or a gift card, you can share how you will use that gift. And when someone does us a favor, we can do something for them in return. Sometimes just a simple acknowledgement is enough, such as a nod and wave at the courteous driver and a smile and thanks to the woman in the drugstore. Other times appreciation needs to be further verbalized. You could explain to the man in the restaurant how stressed you’d been lately dealing with both a newborn and a toddler. When someone has given extra service, they should somehow be rewarded, such as compliment to the store manager, a great review on the company website, or a larger than normal tip.
I’m still working on remembering to sincerely show my appreciation for the things my family members regularly do, such as my grandson taking out the garbage and my husband making me a cup of coffee in the morning. It’s a habit I need to form because studies show that those who regularly express gratitude are healthier, happier, and more hopeful than the average person.
The first step in being a grateful person is to recognize those little gifts we’re given each day. We’re always quick to notice when we’re slighted, disrespected, or treated rudely, so let’s be just as vigilant in taking note of the things others do for us that make our lives better. We can then acknowledge those gifts and express our appreciation in some manner.
What are some of the gifts you’ve received lately and how did you express your gratitude? Please share in the comments.
NOTE: This is the year I celebrate (?) seven decades residing on this planet. My journey so far has taught me many life lessons, so I decided to share some of them with you. I’ll be posting one each day from Thanksgiving to Christmas.
Tomorrow: Regret Nothing
