I am an artist, I tell myself. And for a moment, I feel that dream cradled lovingly in my hands. Intrepid. Pulsing. Not slipping away through the gaps between my fingers, much like sand.
I have not been at my mental best in 2021. But reflection has found me exercising minuscule discipline worthy of some celebration. And so I celebrate, by writing my reflections for the year illustrated through art, and books.
January 2021
I pick up a copy of “The Bullet Journal Method” by Ryder Carroll. Was it the cover that beckoned to me? It must’ve been.
Immediately, I loved the novel experience- handwritten letters, highlights, and doodles made it seem like I was learning from a perfectly curated journal in my hands.
Art! my heart screamed and I started bullet journaling with passion, clocking a full 31 days' worth of gratitude logs. I look back fondly. As I trace my fingers over the indents, I can feel how I felt back when I wrote them. And that is powerful. Magic even.
February 2021
My bullet journal logs tell me that I’ve enjoyed socializing. This puzzles me.
I read “Written in Blood” by Chris Carter. It is crime fiction and the eleventh book in the Robert Hunter series. Unsurprisingly, I loved it. I love the whole series. It is a thrilling non-stop ride of action, suspense, and cleverness.
As I write this, I itch to read them again.
March 2021 — Apr 2021
These are productive months. My kindle arrived and I read. The purchase is an attempt to stop my books from reproducing and becoming rampant in my home. I proceed to place an order for “The Creative Cure” by Jacob Nordby on book depository anyway.
I do two art courses, both of them Digital.
Freya Procreate Masterclass (Procreate)
Facebook ads are on a roll. I want to get better at using procreate. I grab my unsuspecting friend and sign up for it.
Digital Apparel Design (Adobe Illustrator)
I am having an existential crisis. Would I enjoy designing apparel? Possibly.
I enjoyed it. I learned nifty tricks in Adobe Illustrator. I complete the course with flying colors. I do not start designing apparel.
May 2021
At this point, I am on my second bullet journal and I write in it with dedication.
Once again, I find myself the victim of Facebook ads. I’ve never dabbled with watercolor and calligraphy before this. I should try it. It helps that both courses are only a day long. My friend is along for the ride.
I enjoyed doing watercolor. I even did additional pieces after the course. Impressive.
Calligraphy, on the other hand, I did not enjoy. I do not go on to develop any calligraphy skills.
June — Jul 2021
Class 101 course: Create Cute, Simple Characters: Build Your Own Small Business (Procreate)
It turns out that Facebook ads are very effective. But my mental health is declining and I have trouble focusing. To date, I have only completed 38%.
I’ll complete 100% by the end of January, I tell myself now.
Can I do it? I know so.
I read “The Fallen” by David Baldacci. Once again it is crime fiction and the fourth book in the Amos Decker series. It was a good read. Not as gripping as the Robert Hunter series, but it offers a different kind of read following a comforting pace.
I also place an order for “Atomic Habits” by James Clear on book depository. Since when was book overpopulation a problem?
Aug — Sep 2021
My personal blog tells me that I have been feeling down around this time. My third bullet journal provides further evidence in how the gratitude logs are now haphazard and wan, and inconsistent. I don’t make it through my books. I still make it a point to art, sluggishly.
Oct 2021
I went for a one-day staycation. It calmed me. I started feeling again. I forget I have a half-completed course and sign up for another one.
Domestika course: Powerful Female Characters: Illustrating Confidence and Diversity (Procreate)
This time, I’m pretty sure it was an Instagram ad. I like to draw humans or something equivalent so I enjoy it. I like how the course is structured and I complete one out of five units.
I finish the Amos Decker series. Enter “The Innocent” by David Baldacci. It is the first book in the Will Robie series.
A fresh start I think to myself. I have not completed this book.
Nov 2021 — Dec 2021
It is my birthday month. I drift in and out of stasis. I write and I draw when I feel okay. It provides me cathartic relief. I want to spend more of my time doing so, but I do not want to die from a lack of sleep.
Orange is a recurring theme as I often find myself thinking about fall this year. It brings me to a romantic and peaceful place.
I create a new log in my bullet journal to track my book reading. I have decided to re-read some of the books I bought this year in hopes of shedding the feelings of apathy that hold my heart prisoner.
I pick up “The Creative Cure” by Jacob Nordby once again.
Epilogue
Retrospectively, the title could’ve been “A year in bullet journaling”. Bullet journaling works great for me when I put my heart into it. Gratitude logs are also better keepsakes compared to habit or mood trackers.
These are some and not all of the art that I have done in the year. I hope to publish professionally someday. I have made some progress this year and I promise myself to do better next year.
My gratitude log for the year 2021: Falling in love with life, with art, with books, and with writing.
