All the Crazy Mommas

You know what I’m talking about!

I swear I love this child
In all her toddler reign
I swear I love this child
But she’s driving me insane.

-Refuses every bite of homemade cuisine
-She licks the windows I just wiped clean
-Goes digging for gold in a full diaper sack
-The letters N and O produce a full blown attack
-Everything I own is covered in milk, from the end table to my silk
-Still whines instead of words
-Needs help with all her turds
-Three bags of supplies to get down the road
(This crazy shit’s for the birds.)

Left the room for a second, a hurricane came through
Her pretty, pastel dress is somehow stained blue
Where did she find this bottle of glue?

Don’t eat that rock
Don’t eat that sock
Dear God, don’t eat that
Gum you found in the crosswalk

She runs me ragged
Tired and haggard
But still, I shout this mantra true
There nothing Momma loves more
Than Child 1 and (someday) Child 2

(Especially since child 3 will be lost in the vasectomy)