Catharsis Not Vacation

I’m on vacation this week. For me, not drinking is 100 times easier than not working. I don’t think I’ve taken a full-fledged vacation ever. This time is no different. I’m catching up work that I’ve fallen behind on, getting ahead on other things, answering emails, etc. Even my out of office reply honestly explains what my vacation is:

I am currently out of the office. Actually I’m usually out of the office, but I guess that means I’m technically on vacation. And by “vacation” I mean catching up on the stuff that didn’t get done when I wasn’t on “vacation”. If this is urgent please contact Mike Scorelle he’ll know what to do I’m sure.

I will be done with “vacation” on 8/22/16.

But then I realized yesterday vacation isn’t necessarily what I need (although my manager keeps reminding me that unplugging and relaxing is very important), I really just need to get all the bullshit and cobwebs out of my head.

So what I’ve been doing are some truly cathartic things (at least for me) that are unrelated to work during “normal working hours” guilt free — guilt free because I’m on “vacation”.

I painted a self-portrait (oil on canvas):

Obviously it’s awful, but I haven’t painted since I was 19 and it felt great. Just the act of painting — putting the paint on the canvas was a great release.

I also live across the street from a park with a tremendous open field and, although there’s a sign that specifically says “no golf”, I went with my 5 year old and we spent about an hour each of the last two days just whacking golf balls across the field. I should point out that neither one of us have ever played a formal round of golf (yet for some reason I’ve had a set of clubs in the trunk of my car for the last four years). I never though beating the crap out of a little white ball could feel soooo good. I actually think I might not be bad at it. I do live in country club land (Greenwich CT) maybe I should try actually playing sometime.

I took my guitar out the case (actually my wife’s guitar, but she doesn’t play) and played until my fingertips were so sore I couldn’t touch a string anymore. I’ve played guitar for about 35 years, seriously for a little while when I was a lot younger. I can at least claim to have played CBGB, which if you’ve played there know it’s not a big accomplishment, but most people think it’s really cool. However, most of the last 20 years has been spent picking it up every few months playing a few chords and putting it back in the case. I’ve played a couple of times this week so far and kind of shocked my kids because I know they’ve never heard me play like that (not that it was great, but it was definitely impassioned).

I’ve also done some drawing, coloring, cranking Rage Against The Machine and just forgetting about work while I’m doing these things. Forgetting about the spaghetti code I have to untangle, forgetting about the projects I’m going to start working on next week, but not forgetting about them for an entire week like a “vacation” is supposed be (I think). Just doing these wonderfully cathartic things and releasing all the work stress, all the family stress, all the self-imposed stress of having to do more and do it better than everyone else, but in these short burst that feel great.

So Monday when people ask me what I did on vacation, I’m going say “things … poorly, but enthusiastically and it was the best vacation I’ve had in decades.”