The 4 Innocent Words Between You And An Awesome Life
“I had sex with someone else.”
A year into my first long-term relationship.
I found out my girlfriend had slept with another guy.
She carried on…
“It was a few months after we met.
I’m so sorry.
I was feeling so insecure at the time.
I’d said I loved you, but you hadn’t said it back.
It felt awful keeping this inside for so long.
I hope you can forgive me.
I really want this to work.”
“Are you going to say something then?”
Me: “I don’t really know what to say.
I’m a little shocked right now.
It hurts finding out, of course it does.
But of course I’ll forgive you…”
Of course, the part that’s missing here is my internal dialogue.
My mind was all over the place.
Fear kicked in and overshadowed everything.
Fear of feeling angry.
Fear of having to end the relationship.
Fear of losing her.
So I shut down.
I was scared of so much.
I was too comfortable.
So I convinced myself that we’d be fine.
I held everything in.
Pushed it all down.
Thinking I’d just forget about it and move on.
But I never did.
Every now and again it would come back.
I’d have doubts about the relationship.
My thoughts would spiral out of control.
“She cheated on you.”
“But I forgave her.”
“She kept it from you.”
“You should end it.”
“But it’s not that bad.”
“It’s not that bad.”
Four innocent words that can hold you back immensely.
Those few words can trap you.
They trapped me.
For years, I said those words to myself.
I got comfortable.
I knew things could be better.
But what did I do about it.
My job was “okay.”
My relationship was “alright.”
Everything was “just fine.”
But deep down, I knew it wasn’t going to work out.
Something had to change.
And it did.
Bit by bit.
I broke up with my girlfriend.
We got back together.
“Maybe it could work if we try harder.”
We moved house.
It was okay for a while.
Then she broke up with me.
It was the right thing for both of us.
It’s funny how life has a way of working things out.
So watch out.
If you’re telling yourself “It’s not that bad.”
It means it’s not that great either.
So don’t get comfortable.
You’re only here once.
And life can be awesome.
Go get it.