Just want to add another comment to clarify my earlier comment. Again, your article is close to identifying the shame dynamic, but you’re a little off imo. Here we go…The truth is (I believe) that it’s mostly hardwired into women to find high status men sexy and low status men unsexy. When a woman is dating a low status guy, and feels her attraction low even though he’s a great guy in all other respects, she’ll feel shame at herself for being so superficial. She can obviously do her best to ignore these feelings and stay with the guy anyway. Happens all the time. With the logic in your article, you would say that she actually IS attracted to the low status guy sexually, but the shame she feels is coming from society and it kills her attraction. See what I mean?

So…women are hardwired in the way stated above, and men are mostly hardwired to find a certain hip to waist ratio attractive. They’re also attracted to younger women since older women start to become less fertile. Older women also tend to put on weight. So it makes sense men are generally attracted to youthful slimness. Again, the shame/frustration men feel is at themselves for not being able to look past this outward physical stuff and focus on all the other awesome qualities the woman has.

Your article seems to want to keep the belief that you’re sexy/attractive to men, but it’s only society’s ideas that are ruining things. So your theory is a way to make you and other less attractive women feel better. (Note, I’m not saying you’re unattractive, I don’t know you, I’m just using words to make the point I’m trying to make.) In the same way I might write an article to help myself and other low status men feel better about ourselves. “We really are sexy to women, we’re only getting denied because society tells women they should want the rich/famous/successful guys!” See what I mean? This stuff is mostly hardwired, then we try to put the blame on society/culture etc.

Side note, one thing that is known to be very sexy to men is NOVELTY. So a man can sleep with a new woman and be extremely turned on, but the excitement can fade fast after being with her a short time, especially if the woman is lacking the ideal hip to waist ratio and weight etc.

So it’s all of our jobs to do our best to look at ALL of a person’s qualities, not just the outward stuff like looks and bank accounts. Who do we really like spending time with?