4 days in Stockholm
Sweden is famous for well-designed furniture, beautiful women and functional socialism. A sub-scale barren country which has somehow produced iconic global businesses like IKEA and H&M. As a tourist destination, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but assumed the place would be easy on the eye.
In early February, the sky is glum and the hours of daylight reduced, but the prettiness of Stockholm remains striking. It was cold, but not intolerable, hovering between -2 and 2 degrees Celsius. The thing to do in Stockholm in winter is drink coffee (fika in Swedish). The locals spend their days lazing in the warm, well designed Espresso House cafes. Think Starbucks with better furniture, a more nuanced color scheme and better coffee. You can’t escape them. “Why are there so many Espresso House cafes, is it a Swedish brand?” I asked the teenager behind the counter. “Yes, there are six of them on this street I think. Some Germans bought the company, and they are expanding into other Scandinavian countries, Germany and the Netherlands, it’s like another war plan” he responded, in a mocking German accent. Funny, but unlikely to be awarded Employee of the Month by his new paymasters.
If you go to Stockholm expecting to see wall-to-wall knock-out barely dressed Shield Maidens, you’ll be disappointed. Stockholm is a very multi-cultural place, filled with practically dressed typically dark haired women. The stereotypical well-tanned blue eyed, blonde, knee-buckling knock-out exists, but they are uncommon.
Stockholm is brimming with museums and galleries, exploring everything from Vikings and Sami culture to design and human rights. A highlight is the Vasa Museum in Galärvarvsvägen, visited by 1.4 million people each year. The Museum was purpose built around the Vasa, a 69 metre-long 17th century wooden ship. A 1,200 tonne war machine, with 64 cannons over two levels, ten sails and 120 tonnes of ballast. A brutal expression of Sweden’s desire to conquer new territories. “F&$k me” I muttered too loudly when I walked into the cavernous museum and saw the ship for the first time. An immense killing machine covered with hundreds of wooden sculptures. “How the hell did they build this back then?” I was thinking as I waited for my free guided tour to start.
The awe in which I held the 17th century ship builders was quickly diminished. The Vasa was a dud. The three year effort to build the ultimate war machine led to a twenty minute maiden voyage of 1.3km before it toppled in a light breeze. A colossal, embarrassing and undoubtedly expensive failure for the King.

The inquest following the sinking, brought to light that many people knew the ship was a dud, but it sailed anyway. The most shocking anecdote involved the captain overlooking the construction ordering thirty men to run back and forth along the deck in front of the Vice Admiral, when the ship was still in the port. The terrified Vice Admiral called a halt to the demonstration, as he thought the ship was going to sink. The ship was top heavy, badly proportioned and sat too high out of the water. Yet, no-one wanted to tell the King that the years of hard work and treasure had all gone to waste. Despite the loss of thirty lives, no-one was punished. The Dutch ship-builder had died during construction, and his widow who completed the project had already been paid. The King just wanted to forget about the debacle.
Swedish food is as basic as the Vasa is impressive. Meatballs and potatoes, plus a bit of fish and a few miniature prawns. Hearty food. Good for plundering, less so for the sedate modern lifestyle. Given the frigid winter and heavy diet, you’d expect the Swedes to be fatter.
The downside to travelling in Sweden is that it is frighteningly expensive. The Arlanda Express, a twenty minute train from the airport to the centre costs US$30. Take the cheaper forty minute bus ride with Flygbussarna and you are still shelling out US$13. Getting a basic meal below US$15 is tough, unless you want to eat hamburgers. I got charged US$3 for a glass of tap water when I ordered a steak.
But don’t let the jarring prices deter you. Stockholm is a must-see destination, even during the winter months.
