He has a hotwife fetish. Good for you.
For people that don’t know, men with a hotwife fetish are sometimes confused with men with a cuckold fetish. But they are only superficially similar. They operate at a very different level psychologically.
For a cuckold, the erotic part of the relationship is the humiliation aspect. From a mental standpoint, it is similar to other fetishes where a partner is humiliated. The cuckold not only wants his partner to be with another, but for the partner to then tell him that he is inadequate. In some cases the wife might even go so far has to tie up her husband, then she and her “bull” has sex in front of him while they both verbally humiliate him.
In the hotwife scenario, there is no humiliation aspect. In fact it can be opposite. The man is often aroused by “reclaiming” his wife. The fact that his wife returns to him and they generally have enthusiastic sex after she goes on a date affirms that she loves him, is attracted to him, etc. Her ego is boosted by the fact that others find her desirable, and his ego is boosted by the fact that she has other options but still prefers him.
Another aspect of the psychology is that women have traditionally been encouraged to suppress their sexual desires and primal urges. Before the recent invention of reliable birth control, a women was much more likely than a man to suffer the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. A man can often be aroused by a woman who breaks those norms, who embraces her own animalistic urges. He recognizes in her the same desires that he himself has.
The husband of a hotwife might enjoy helping her act out some of her own fantasies. Women very commonly have fantasies where they are “forced” to do what they secretly want to do anyway. The classic “bodice ripper” romance novel usually has a male character that the female character desires, but the female character is not able to act on that desire. The male then rips open her bodice and forces himself on her, much to her relief and pleasure. In the real world this would be rape. Any man that would actually do this would be dangerous. But in a hotwife situation this fantasy can be role played, perhaps even with the husband present to provide a sense of safety. A hotwife can explore CNC (consentual non-consentual) fantasies.
A husband can also use this safe space to explore his own fantasies of control over a submissive wife, perhaps “ordering” her to serve his guests or reward the winner of the weekly poker game.
On a related note, some men also have an interest in “hotpast”. In this case, the man is aroused by his wife or girlfriend telling stories of past experiences where she may have shunned norms and embraced her animalistic urges. He is turned on when she tells of one night stands, group sex or gang bangs, etc.
