…says the woke girlfriend living off an inheritance… — Whenever I complained about my job she’d insist I quit and start writing full-time, like her. “Sure, but what about food, water, rent, and all the rest of it?” I’d ask. “I’ll need money for those things…” I enjoyed stating the obvious. It offered me the opportunity at a passive-aggressive…

There comes a time in every straight man’s life where his highest priority should be a beard… — When I look back at this pic of Jay and I, I see the origins of a budding psycho. His eyes were always dancing back then, his body always fidgeting, his face often flush with something like mischief trending towards anger, and his mind always in a state of disarray…

So says some guy that everyone keeps mindlessly quoting… — “I just don’t understand how you can hang out with Mike Chase,” she said to me, shaking her head in disapproval. “It doesn’t make any sense at all…” She didn’t want a fight but she felt strongly about getting this off her chest. …

I wonder how much he charges for hugs? — So we know his pronouns now… When I initially heard that Musk had listed these pronouns, I was secretly rooting for “they/them”. …

or something like that… — Okay so I was prompted by Elle McIntosh weeks ago — sorry so late Elle — and recently by Krystal Bukowska. Elle’s prompt is: Ten things I never want to do before they burn me at the stake. I s’pose I’d really like to know who “they” are, first off…

Sergio the virtue-signaler/philanthropist/dedicated family man/softie/poet. Part 7 continued… — “If you happen to be searching for something to watch that’ll put a big grin on your face,” one post begins, “something that’ll get ya all misty and warm your heart, turn to ESPN Sportscenter Special “My Dream”. Kids with terminal conditions meet their heroes.” Who was this guy? I was having great difficulty…

Sergio the virtue-signaler/philanthropist/dedicated family man/softie/poet — *Note: This is the first half of what will be the final chapter.* *** A father’s day post from Sergio goes like this: “Happy Father’s Day to all my female FB friends who play the role of Mother AND Father. This day is for you too ya know. …

“Hey ladies!” — “Hey ladies,” Sergio writes, “you’re always posting about how there are no good guys left out there in the world. I’m gonna give you a quick tip: quit going after the same piece of shit type of guy. You get burned once by a hot stovetop, you gonna go back…

Sergio the lecturer — These posts almost always begin the same way: “Some of you need to hear this,” Sergio will say. And inevitably what follows is something painfully obvious. “Cars aren’t toys,” one post begins, and then proceeds to lecture on the importance of automobile safety. There are others extolling the value of hygiene, and courtesy. “I’m about to drop some…